I feel like I'm starting another post by apologizing, and I don't want to do that. Let's just say, I note my unusually long absence, and I can't put my finger on exactly why. Getting up and writing here used to be one of my favorite things to do- something I looked forward to. I fought to buy the time to spend putting together posts. It was this huge, exciting privilege. And in November, I fell out of the habit.
In all parts of my life, I'm feeling a little disconnected right now. I keep using the word "floating" to describe the weird feeling, even though I'm very lucid and not exactly having trouble concentrating. I'm just untethered. I feel like I have no time to do all of the things I need to do (original, I know) and at the same time, I'm a little bored. I don't exactly feel Christmasy, but I'm not feeling hectic or annoyed. It's a gentle funk.
I think it's because all of last month, I had one very clear, very measurable, very large goal. It was the thing that I was doing, and I arranged the rest of my life neatly to make space for fifty thousand words. Without that goal, I'm unmoored. There is time for everything, so I'm doing nothing. I want to pick at my story, I want to read other people's work, I want to make gift guides and plan out my attack of my birthday list. I'm not even digging in that deep into the typical chores of this season.
Another thing I'm realizing is I just finished nine long novels by the same author in about a month and a week. I loved the world she created and I loved always having another book, another chance to find out what would happen. There are two different series within this world, and they crisscross, and I'm already rereading the one story where they overlap the most to try and make new connections, but in all honesty, I need something new to read. I hadn't been so hungry for books in a long time, and I definitely redefined my priorities to disappear into an imaginary world more often. It was wonderful, but it's different.
I'm liking who I am when reading and writing take up most of my free time, but I need some balance. December is one of my favorite months- I love year-end reflections and imagining what I want the next 12 months to bring. I'm hoping I can shake this case of the blues and get back into a routine that makes me proud.
What do you do to break a funk? Any book recommendations? I need all the help I can get. Love you all!