Sunday, May 1, 2016

Conflicting Messages I Have Received as a Female

This isn't to say that any of these messages are good or bad by definition, but just to point out that they are all coming at us pretty much constantly. I am a person who attaches myself quite strongly to the last reasonable thing I've heard or discovered, which is a mentally dangerous way to live in this information age. Realizing the volume of the directives that we are bombarded with is the first step in sifting through all this information and seeing what needs to be discarded, what needs to be considered, and what needs to be become our truth. 

How do we sort through it all? If you have any ideas, please tell me. I hope none of the tips contradict each other, my head might explode.

Here is an incomplete list of conflicting messages I have received as a female:

BE GOOD (starts the earliest, is the loudest, has no clear definition)
Be subversive
Dress for the season
Dress for your comfort
Dress for the job you want
Dress for the social occasion 
Be kind
Speak your mind
Say what you mean
Be a proud giver of zero fucks
Think about how your words will effect others 
Be strong
Be sweet
Stay soft
Eat the damn cupcake
Treat your body like a temple
Eat good foods that make you feel good
Try to be better than you were before
You are already enough
Try harder
Forgive yourself
Your family comes first
You come first
Working moms have it harder
Stay-at-home moms have it harder
Women can have it all
"Having it all" is impossible
Share everything about yourself
Share a little bit about yourself (no TMI, please)
Share nothing about yourself
Fat is beautiful
Fat is disgusting
Fat is normal
Fat is always unhealthy
Fat is sometimes unhealthy
Be proud of your fat
Get rid of your fat
You are gross
You are a goddess
Buy these things to simplify your life
Throw out these things to simplify your life
Let the house be dirty, enjoy your family
A clean house is a sign of an organized mind
Spend more time with your girlfriends
Spend more time with your husband
Spend more time with your children
Spend more time alone
Make your family proud
Make your community proud
Don't do things to make other people happy
Sexuality is fluid
Sexuality is rigid 
Sexuality should be destigmatized
Sexuality should not be discussed
Be more spiritual
Be more logical
Trust something bigger
Trust in yourself
Listen more
Pare down your influences
Look around
Look inward
Down with the patriarchy 
Feminism is man-hating
Men are worthless
Women are worthless
The world is full of serious problems
The world is fine, calm down
Chill out
Get mad 
Be yourself (?????)

WTF. Anything I missed?

*A note: these are just messages I've picked up on as a white, middle class lady. My privilege protects me from the more pointed and negative missives that people of color, people who live in poverty, and people in other marginalized groups have to deal with on a daily basis, which is an entire other cluster of terrible.

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