Kristin is her own lady: Navigating a Big Move

Over the next few months, I'll be running a series about women who have embraced their own-ness by operating outside of the norm, namely by choosing not to have children, choosing to move far away from their support systems, or choosing to make a major career switch. There are many ways to be your own lady; here's to celebrating your path!

Kristin is my cousin and one of the moms I've looked to for guidance since I've had my first child. As her family has grown, Kristin has moved around the East Coast, in each place creating a special environment and always holding onto her hobbies (turned side business!) and family routines. Like the good millennial family that we are, we follow each other's lives on Facebook, and I am always amazed at the way she settles in and finds community in her new home. I asked Kristin to share her thoughts on making a big move. Whether you are moving for an obligation or of your own accord, there is wisdom here!

1. Tell us a little about yourself (where do you live, what do you, what is your family like, how do you enjoy spending your time?)

I'm a 34-year-old mom of three living in Laurel, MD. I work part time teaching online but my current passion is sewing. Honestly, it's probably my passion because it allows me to hide from my three kids in the basement now and then ;). Kids are 1, almost 4, and 5.

2. Tell us a little about the places you've lived. Which move do you consider your "big move"?

I have lived in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Michigan, Ohio, North Carolina, and Maryland. All of them were big moves in their own way, but my first really truly adult move was uprooting our family of 5 from NC to move to MD. 

3. What was the reason for this big move? Was it a decision you came to on your own or were you subject to outside forces? 

Casey, my husband, had worked at his job in NC for 10 years and had been casually job hunting for at least half that time. While the job in NC had been an amazing career experience, as he'd completely climbed the ladder there, it wasn't ever what he'd intended to do as a career. So he went back to school for four long years, during which time he continued working full time and we both teetered on the brink of insanity having three babies, moving into four different homes, and more...and at graduation he was offered exactly the job he most wanted in his new field. In Maryland. So here we are. While I was not in any way excited about the idea - I really felt like we'd made a home in NC, including building our dream house - there was just no question in my mind that refusing to move for this job would mean crushing all of my husband's dreams and completely negating all the work and stress and strain of the previous four years. I couldn't trade all that for the relative security of staying in NC, so we made the leap.

4. What was your support system like before your move? What does your support system look like now?

I had built a great support system of fellow parents, the babywearing community (I helped establish a fast-growing local babywearing group and had just stepped down as president), and work colleagues. I had a fantastic and flexible job teaching college composition at one of the best programs in the country. I was constantly engaged and inspired by the work of my colleagues. 

Now, I am still working, teaching online for the same university. The difference in my motivation is depressing - without the renewing energy of faculty development workshops and casual interaction with an office full of people doing the same job, I feel kind of at sea. But it's a job and a clear connection to what I was doing before, and that is a good thing when everything else feels new and strange.

It's been hard to make friends here. I remember when we moved to NC, it literally took years to make friends. I think it would/will be the same way here, if we stay that long. At least I have the memory of how hard it was to make friends to remind me that it isn't me. I'm not a horrible person. It just takes a long time for a new person to become part of someone else's comfortable, established orbit. I already have met a few people through the same parenting networks I used in NC - the babywearing group, the local Facebook parenting groups. Thank goodness for Facebook - although some complain it makes relationships too disconnected and is used to avoid face-to-face meetings, my experience has been the opposite. Being home with small kids is ISOLATING. But I don't actually feel bereft of adult communication, because it's all right there: other parents in my situation, reaching out. And there are plenty of opportunities for meet ups; I've just had to get brave enough to show up and start the harder work of face to face conversation.

5. What advice would you give to someone who wanted to make a big move?

As these questions suggest - people are key to making you feel comfortable in a new place. Everything else (moving house, finding a place to live, a new job, a new daycare, etc.) is just logistics. Force yourself to go out of your way to meet people. You might join 5 new social circles to make one friend; don't give up.

Know it will take awhile to find your groove. That it may be actual months before you start feeling like you actually live there and are not just on some weird vacation. That your kids may do great or the one you were least worried about might also take months to adjust. But eventually, anywhere will become home.

Thank you so much, Kristin! You can check out the gorgeous bags Kristin designs while hiding in the basement at Chrysalis Designs Fiber Art (Shop / Facebook). Do you have any questions for Kristin? Tips for navigating a big move? 

Christal is Her Own Lady: Celebrating a Life Beyond Motherhood

Over the next few months, I'll be running a series about women who have embraced their own-ness by operating outside of the norm, namely by choosing not to have children, choosing to move far away from their support systems, or choosing to make a major career switch. There are many ways to be your own lady; here's to celebrating your path!

Christal was one of my first friends in high school, and since I've met her, she's pretty much embodied confident and cool. Below, she kindly fills us in on her decision not to have children. No one ever needs to justify their life choices, but we're lucky enough to get the inside scoop on her reasons for keeping her family just as it is.

1. Tell us a little about yourself (where do you live, what do you, what is your family like, how do you enjoy spending your time?)

I live in Encinitas, CA and moved here with my boyfriend from Boston, MA about 5 years ago. I work at the Eating Disorder Center of San Diego as Office Manager and I am also a part time professional organizer. I am still navigating my long term career path, and my boyfriend just went back to school, hoping to start a career in ecology. We plan on moving to Arcata, CA in the next few years. We both love animals and have 2 bunnies, a cat, and a snake. We both work full time, but opposite hours, so we only get to see each other for a few hours on weeknights for dinner and a little TV before bed. On the weekends we love being outdoors and do a lot of hiking, camping, rock climbing, and hanging out at the beach. We try to get out and explore new areas whenever we can. Once we move to northern CA we'll have lots of new places to explore, so we're getting excited about that.

2. How did you come to the decision that you don't want to have children? Is this a choice you made on your own or are you subject to outside forces? When did you know this what you wanted for yourself?

I've never felt particularly drawn to have children, and as long as I can remember I pictured myself being childless for the rest of my life. I have always been open to the idea that I may change my mind as I get older, but I'm 30 now and don't see myself changing my mind any time soon. I feel like I am still figuring out who I am, and I would feel irresponsible raising someone else without working on myself first.

I am also mindful of my impact on the environment, and I know that I would feel selfish and guilty if I added another human to our overpopulated planet. If I change my mind in the future and decide that I do want to raise a child, I have decided that I would try to adopt if at all possible. And yes, I know that it is a flawed system and an expensive and challenging process to adopt a child, but if I were serious about raising a child, that is the way I would want to do it. Of course, if half the population were wiped out tomorrow and we needed to repopulate the planet, I would definitely consider making some babies.

3. Have you shared this choice with your family or friends? How do people react when they hear about your decision? 

I've certainly talked about it with my boyfriend and he feels the same way. Neither of us want to add a child to our life right now and don't see that changing any time soon. He just went back to school while working full time and he's planning to start a new career, so the time and money needed to raise a child would make that much more difficult (if not impossible). We don't make a lot of money and the cost of living is so high where we live that if we had to take care of a child, it would mean less freedom to explore job opportunities and the added stress of having to make enough money to support a family. We want to do a lot more traveling, and I don't like the idea of settling in one city for more than a few years at a time. We're still figuring out our own lives, and it just doesn't make sense to me to add children to the equation.

I am also lucky to have friends and coworkers who don't plan on having children either. It's comforting and validating to be around people who feel the same way. I have a lot of respect for those who choose not to have children because they are passionate about their career and have worked so hard and invested so much to get where they are.

4. How has your decision not to have children improved your life? Do you feel there are any drawbacks?

It's hard to say how my life is improved because I haven't been on the other side, so I can't compare it to anything but what I've experienced.My life is improved because it's unchanged and my path unobstructed.

I'm pretty type A and I know that taking care of children would feel very stressful, and I would run myself into the ground trying to do things right and make the best decisions. My anxious, perfectionist self would take over, and it could easily make me impatient, unsympathetic, and strict, which is not the kind of mother I would want to be. My life is improved by not feeling obligated to be in that role and to allow myself to relax, take care of myself, and be open to different opportunities and experiences.

As far as drawbacks, I am losing the opportunity to pass along my and my partner's genes to another generation. I can see the appeal of that, but to me it feels like a selfish desire. I am also losing out on the experience of being a parent, and passing along my morals and values, so I aim to make a difference in the world and have an influence in other ways.

5. What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with family planning? Any advice for people who are trying to share their choice not to have children with family who might be resistant?

The bottom line is, this is your decision and no one else's. Even if you accidentally get pregnant, it is still your decision and no one else's. If you're not sure you want kids, don't convince yourself that you do just because other people told you that it is the right choice. If your partner wants kids, have a conversation about it and assess what kind of relationship you want to have with this person. There are many different fulfilling relationships that do not include getting married and/or procreating. If your parents want you to have a child, they're going to have to get over it. They should be grateful that you turned out as well you did and they created an intelligent human being who has agency over their own body and their own decisions.

There are so many ways to give back to the community and be a role model or a caretaker in a child's life. You don't need to have your own children to have that experience or to give a child those gifts. There are so many people on this planet of all ages that would benefit from having you in their life in some capacity. It makes more sense to me to take care of the people and animals that already exist, rather than create more mouths to feed. You do not need to create and be responsible for someone else's life to have value. Your life and your experience is valuable as it is.

There you have it! Thank you, Christal, for sharing and inspiring women to be their own lady. Any questions for Christal? Have you made any non-traditional decisions while structuring your family? 

Sarah Is Her Own Lady: Celebrating a Career Switch

Over the next few months, I'll be running a series about women who have embraced their own-ness by operating outside of the norm, namely by choosing not to have children, choosing to move far away from their support systems, or choosing to make a major career switch. There are many ways to be your own lady; here's to celebrating your path!

Sarah is a dear friend from high school and I remember her as one of those infectiously sweet and funny people that everyone always wanted to be around. Through the magic of Facebook, we've recently reconnected, and she was kind enough to answer some questions about how she came to switch careers.

1. Tell us a little about yourself (where do you live, what do you, what is your family like, how do you enjoy spending your time?)

• I live in South Boston in a 1100 square foot condo with my husband and my 6 month old baby. We love our rooftop deck and spend summer nights drinking on the roof. We currently have an exersaucer and playmat in the living room, a jumperoo in the kitchen, and a doorway jumper in our entryway. It's a tight squeeze but we like it.

• I met my husband in law school and he still practices in Newton. I am the Store Manager of a women's clothing store in Braintree, MA. It's a recent store switch. I used to work downtown Boston as an Assistant Manager in a bigger store. 

• My immediate family is an army of three. Mike, my husband, Lila, my 6 month old baby, and I are completely infatuated with each other. My husband and I are becoming more successful at work and are trying hard to balance our increasingly heavy workloads with our new role as parents. Some weeks we balance it better than other. We feel a tremendous amount of financial pressure, due to large part to our outrageously large law school loans.

• We spend our time at restaurants in the Seaport (Boston), watching or going to movies, getting our news through the Daily Show, and taking the baby to the park or beach nearby.

2. Tell us about your career history: what jobs have you held? What jobs were involved in what you consider to be your biggest switch?

• As a young adult, I always had jobs that involved caretaking, service, or teaching: babysitting, receptionist at a mental health clinic, teaching theater to kids, working with homeless youth. 

• I ended up applying to law school after college in large part because I didn't know where I was going to live or how to pay for an apartment after college (my family home wasn't an option) and because I had a professor who encouraged me to go to law school.

• After law school, I was hired as a clerk for the Juvenile and Probate Court where I would work under a Judge, but the recession hit in 2008 and my position was eliminated and my offer revoked. I stayed on with the sole practitioner I interned with during law school. 

• As a practicing attorney at that law office, I mostly worked in what I call "sad law." The cases I spent the most time on were wrongful death and murder defense cases. Dealing with death day in and out is draining on the soul.

• I was getting paid hourly even though I worked full-time with no benefits and it wasn't a living wage, so I got a part-time job nights and weekends at a retail store as a sales associate.

3. What was the process like during your job switch? How did it effect you emotionally? Physically?

• I ended up working about 15 hours a week as a sales associate and within 3-4 months, I was promoted to a part-time manager position.  For a year and a half, I worked 60-70 hours a week between the two jobs. 

• I found myself loving my part-time "extra" job and hating my full-time "real" job. It was an insane amount of work doing both, but I couldn't get myself to quit the retail job. One month I realized I had worked 21 days in a row between the two jobs but I still didn't leave. I loved the fast pace, the team I was helping build and train, the social atmosphere with clients and associates, and the fun of being around fashion.

• In 2010, my mother was dying of a brain tumor. One day at my law job, I got a call from her in-home hospice nurse. The call lasted 2 minutes tops. In it, she informed me that she thought my mother had less than 2 weeks to live and that I should make arrangements to stay close to her. When I got off the phone, the attorney I worked for told me that "he really wished I wouldn't take personal calls at work." After that conversation, I quit my law job.

• I called my retail job to let them know what was happening with my mother. They took me off the management schedule immediately and told me that I should spend time with my family. They said I did not need to check back in with them, that they would take care of everything. They just said to call them when I felt ready to return to work.

• After my mother passed, I returned to the retail job into a full-time position that had opened up. I planned to try it out and likely return to a law job at some point when the market was better. I loved the full-time position and felt like it was be an insane choice to go back to a field I hated when I had found one that felt like it was tailor-made for me. 

4. Do you feel you lost anything during this switch? What did you gain?

• In some circles, I lost a sense of prestige. My husband went to a top-tier private prep school for high school and we attend a lot of their alumni events and reunions. When I first attended with him and said I was an attorney, I felt welcomed and like I fit in. When I switched to saying I was a retail manager, I felt like people judged me. I felt like they thought it was more of a blue-collar job than a professional one.

• In another sense, I lost my investment. I have almost $190,000 in student loans from law school for a degree that I'm not currently using. It is a crushing debt that I deal with on a daily basis. I am paid far more as a Store Manager than I ever earned as an attorney, but I am still living paycheck to paycheck and putting a decent amount of my expenses on credit cards. I think law school taught me to be more analytical, which I certainly use in my job now, but that's a high price to pay. I also met my husband in law school and while he is certainly worth $190,000 to me, that's a hell of a price to pay for a first date.

• What I gained is priceless: I love going to work every day. What people don't realize is that as an attorney, I had very little control or autonomy. I felt intellectually bored. The work was repetitious and formulaic. As a manager, I'm running a multi-million dollar business and a staff of twenty plus people. I finally get to use the best of what I have to offer: my strengths as a leader, a teacher, a motivator. I work for a company that respects work-life balance, is more than 90% women, and that I'm proud to be a part of. 

5. What advice would you give to someone who wanted to make a career switch?

• Take StrengthsFinder! It's a Gallup assessment that identifies each person's top five talents. It can be anything from Communication to Adaptability. Then, it suggests different careers that are a great match for those talents. I know hands down that I would never have gone to law school if I had taken this assessment earlier in my life. I think it should be required for all college students before they declare a major!

• Life is too short to be miserable at work. We are at work a majority of our waking hours. I have friends who still say to me (SEVEN years after graduating law school) "I hate being a lawyer, you're so lucky you got out!" They say it like it's a choice they couldn't possibly make for themselves, which baffles me.  

Thank you for inspiring others to follow their passions and play to their strengths! Any questions for Sarah? Any career changes brewing in your heart?

Take the compliment. Seriously.

Where I live, it's getting warmer.  Yesterday was the first play-outside-in-short-sleeves kind of day. I live in the state where it didn't start snowing til the end of January and our big city still broke it's record for the snowiest winter ever, so people are pumped.  Ladies and gentlemen everywhere are pulling out their shorts and dresses and flip flops and sunglasses and getting these hits of vitamin D that make them manically grin.  We're seeing neighbors emerge, running into friends on walks around the block.

It's about to get complimenty up in here.

It might be That is the cutest dress! or You're so good to be out running! or Your pedicure is adorable!  Or maybe it will come in the form of I love the color you painted the deck, or even Your new roof held up so well, that was smart to go with those ice-dam-prevention shingles!  

Of course, you are lovely and wonderful year round, so you may hear things like this all the time.  At work, a coworker might praise your presentation, or simply remark how patient you are with your children if they call when you're at the office.  Your best friend might tell you she's impressed with your dedication to meal planning.  Your sister might tell you that you throw the best Sunday brunches.  You look cute, often, and everyone from the secretary at the doctor's office to your mother's cousin is going to tell you that they like your shoes/hair/earrings/bag/lipstick.  

Here is how you're not going to react: you're not going to stammer.  You're not going to deflect.  You're not going to come up with an excuse as to why you don't deserve the credit.  There is a famous family story about a time when I had been working hard to get healthy, and I saw my mother, who sweetly told me I looked like I had lost weight.  I was so bad at taking compliments, EVEN FROM MY MOM, that I immediately blurted "I have acne on my back!"  (I have acne on my back is now shorthand for anyone ducking kind words).  You're not going to do that.  You're going to take the compliment.

It's easy.  "Thank you!"

Really, that's all there is to it.  Smile while you say it.  Then ask a follow up question (How did your roof do? or Did you see the Oscars last night? or What time do we need to meet with Jim?) and move about your day.  You can tack on a "I've been working on that," or "I really like this color, too," if you're feeling ambitious. It's okay to tell people that their compliment brightened your day, or validated something you've been putting work into.  But if all of this is hard for you, practice the beginners version.  Smile, and say "Thank you!"

I've definitely shared this before, but it is probably the most brilliant thing ever put on the internet.  I love Amy Schumer's comedy, and this is one of her best sketches.  It's severely NSFW, but until they all start killing themselves, I would say it's barely exaggerated as far as the dialogue between women when they are complimenting each other.  Please watch it.  This is what you look like when you don't take the compliment.

This weekend I received a compliment from a blogger that I admire (Jennifer from Cult of Pedagogy, the only education blog you need to be reading- the tagline is Teacher Nerds, Unite.  Come on.) and her kind words completely made my day.  It's time to get braggy.  I would love it if you would be brave enough to share a compliment you've gotten lately.  Let's get in the habit of celebrating each other, and start be celebrating ourselves.

Homework: 

1. Smile and say "Thank you!" to every compliment you receive.

2. Share a great compliment you've gotten.  Remembering it will give you that warm fuzzy a second time.

tina is her own lady

Tina is fun to have a drink with, but she's got more than good party etiquette; she brews her own beer!  Her knowledge and enthusiasm around craft beers is contagious, and she's generous enough to school us on how to start drinking the good stuff.  Pay attention, and you might even end up brewing your own!

Tell us a little about yourself. 

 My name is Tina, I’m 26 years old and live in Somerville, MA. I went to UMASS Amherst and am currently working at Tufts University in education administration. I am very close with my family and love spending time with them, especially with my 4 year old niece, Elyssa! I also have a great group of friends that I am very lucky to have in my life. In my free time, I love knitting, baking, jogging, reading, cheering on the Boston Celtics, and of course, drinking beer!

Have you always been into beer?  What kinds do you prefer?

I credit my brother-in-law, Matt, for getting me into craft beer. In college, I drank whatever beer was cheapest and didn’t really have any preferences. After I turned 21, Matt and my sister, Lori, took me to Cambridge Brewing Company in Kendall Square and I tried their Spring Training IPA, which I LOVED. The idea that beer could be that interesting and delicious really changed things for me. After that, I started to buy craft beers and started visiting breweries. The first brewery I went to was Berkshire Brewing Company in South Deerfield while I was at UMASS. From then, I just started trying lots of new beers and visiting breweries as much as I could. It also helped that I moved to Somerville after college, which has a great craft beer scene with lots of local craft breweries and events going on.

My favorite style is the India Pale Ale (IPA). I am a big fan of hoppy beers and there are so many different variations on the style which make it very interesting. What I’m drinking also varies by season. During the summer, I drink wheat ales or hefeweizens and in the Winter I drink porters and stouts. There are so many great styles, I love to try everything!

When did you start getting interested in brewing your own beer?

 My interest in brewing my own beer was a natural progression from loving beer and visiting breweries to wanting to try it out! Brewing started out as a couples’ project, but even though the relationship has ended, I continued to love beer and brewing.

What kinds of beer have you brewed?  How did you pick them?

 I’ve brewed a variety of beer styles including porters, stouts, pale ales, IPAs, wheat ales, and pumpkin ales to name a few. Some of my favorites were a strawberry/raspberry wheat ale, a coffee porter, and a milk chocolate stout. I like to brew styles I enjoy, but also like to add a twist and try new things. I would get an idea, then do some research online and come up with a recipe. Adding something new to make the beer special was always something fun to do, like the raspberry/strawberry wheat ale (which was delicious!).

How long a process is brewing?  What special equipment do you need?

 It takes about 4-6 weeks to brew a beer, but a lot of that time is just waiting for the beer to be ready! After brewing the beer, you wait for the beer to ferment, which is the process of the yeast and sugars interacting to make beer. Once the beer has finished fermenting and you are happy with the result, you then have to bottle the beer, which needs to sit for at least two weeks (sometimes longer) for the beer to carbonate. It’s a long process, but totally worth it!  

Typically, when you start out with homebrewing, you are doing what is called “extract brewing.” This simplifies the process that professional brewers use and makes it more accessible for homebrewers (here is a graphic that explains a little of the science). You’ll need some basic equipment to get started, including a stove, a brew pot, a fermenter, and beer bottles, along with the ingredients for brewing the beer. You will also need to clean and sanitize EVERYTHING to avoid contamination, so a big sink is also really great although not required.

What is the next brewing project you’d like to try? 

I actually haven’t been brewing for the last couple of years since I moved into a smaller apartment, but really want to get back into it. Since I'm in a small apartment, I have been looking into doing smaller batches of beer, like 1 gallon batches. This is great because it saves A LOT of space and you don't need as much stuff. I have been thinking about brewing a pumpkin ale for the fall. Pumpkin ales can be tricky because you don’t want the spices to be overpowering and you need the flavors to be balanced. So it will be a fun beer to brew!

What advice do you have for people who want to branch out and try microbrew or even just non-mainstream beers?

I recommend to start local. We are so lucky to be in New England with SO many amazing craft breweries in Massachusetts, Vermont, and Maine. Grab a mixed 12 pack of Sam Adams or Harpoon to start. See what you like from that and try that style in a different brewery. Or better yet, take a trip to a local brewery and sample the beers they have. Or go out to a local brew pub and order a flight of beer, they’ll start with the lighter styles and get darker, so you can really explore the spectrum. Another suggestion would be to check out a beer festival where you can sample lots of different beers and talk to the brewery employees about their beers. Drink Craft Beer is a great organization that has lots of beer festivals year round! (http://drinkcraftbeer.com/).

My main advice is to not be discouraged if you don’t love every beer at first! Odds are you’re not going to suddenly love barrel-aged bourbon stouts right off the bat, you need to really work your way up there. Keep an open mind and try as many styles as you can, you might think you don’t like beer, but you might just not like hoppy beers and prefer lighter styles. There is a style for everyone!

Some examples of breweries I love::

●     Mayflower Brewing Company, Plymouth, MA: This brewery has some solid year-round offerings and amazing seasonals! It’s worth taking a trip to visit them in Plymouth and grabbing a growler of whatever is on tap.

●     Jack’s Abby Brewing, Framingham, MA: This is probably my favorite brewery! They only make lagers, which are known to be a bit boring, but not their lagers. Try Hopponius Union or Mass Rising.

●     Baxter Brewing Company, Lewiston, ME: I love all of their beers, especially the Pamola Xtra Pale Ale for an easy drinking beer. All of their beers come in cans, which I love. Canned beers are becoming very popular and make a lot of sense for craft beers.Cans block out all light, keeping the beer fresh, and are better environmentally. And technology is much more advanced so the can won’t leave any bad taste in the beer.

●     Tröeg’s Brewing Company, Hershey, PA: They have one of my favorite beers, Nugget Nectar. Try it when it’s out in February!

●     Pretty Things Beer & Ale Project, Somerville, MA: This couple brews some great experimental beers and are really cool people! Try their flagship beer, Jack D’or, you won’t be disappointed.

What advice do you have for people who want to try brewing their own beer?

 If you are thinking about brewing beer but want to learn more, you can do some research online

(http://byo.com is a great place to start) or pick up The Complete Joy of Homebrewing by Charlie Papazian, which is a wonderful and informative book on homebrewing. To learn more about the brewing process, check out a local brewery, which gives you a visual representation of how the process works.

If you have decided to go ahead and get started, I recommend making a trip to your local homebrew shop and picking up a brewing kit. You can typically get started for about $100, give or take. And once you have all of the equipment, you will just need to buy ingredients for the beer, which ranges from $30-50 depending on the beer style you are brewing. I love Homebrew Emporium, which has multiple locations. They have very knowledgeable staff and won’t try to sell you anything you don’t need (http://beerbrew.com). You can also buy kits online with everything you need, but I recommend going into the store if you’re a new brewer since they can give you great advice.

Most of all, remember to have fun and relax! Brewing beer is a great hobby to pick up and learn about. Don’t be intimidated by the process!

Other useful links:

http://byo.com/newbrew/your-first-home-brew: Great information on how to homebrew

http://www.homebrewtalk.com/: Information on brewing and forums with tips & recipes

http://www.howtobrew.com/intro.html: A very informative website with a ton of information on brewing

Breweries in MA: http://www.mass.gov/agr/massgrown/culinary_tourism/brewery_tours.htm

Brewpubs in MA: http://www.beer100.com/brewpubs_l_to_n/massachusetts.htm

Are you dying for a beer?  I want to drop everything and order a tasting flight.  And maybe even take notes on the different flavors.  This is how geeked out this awesome info makes me.  How about you?  Have you tried homebrewing?  Any favorite beers or breweries?  Drink safely, ladies and gentlemen!

laurel is her own lady

Full disclosure: Laurel is my sister and my best friend. We’re alike in a lot of ways, but one thing we do NOT have in common is a solid running career.  Knowing that running was not a part of our family life growing up, I asked Laurel to tell us more about how she got started running and reached her goal of training for a marathon so quickly.  I know you’ll find her as inspirational as I do.

Tell us a little about yourself!

 My name is Laurel, I’m 26 years old and I’m lucky to have a very supportive network of family and friends in my life. I consider myself a young professional living the city. I survive on public transportation and using my feet to get me where ever I need to go. My boyfriend, Ari, and I enjoy finding new ways to celebrate summer from beach hopping to kayaking on the Charles (still to come!). Lately, I enjoy runs around the Charles River, Barre Classes in Copley Square and marathoning through TV series like Shameless and Game of Thrones. I’ve also been dabbling in refurbishing old furniture with fresh paint and fancy knobs.

Were you always into running?  When and why did you start?

I have not always been a runner. I’m still getting comfortable calling myself a runner. I remember really starting to run for stress release during my transition from college into the “real world”.  My aunt and uncle let me help out with their kids for a summer in Delaware while I was figuring out next steps in my life and my uncle shared his past in running with me. It was that summer that I ran my first 8 miles with him at my side pushing me on. I remember him turning to me at the end and saying “If you can do this, you can run a half-marathon.” To which I laughed and almost puked. That summer I ran my first 5K with my uncle and cousin, Reece, dressed like cave people and a gorilla. 

When I moved to Boston to start my new job in the hotel industry I started taking part in company sponsored races in the city with fellow colleagues and friends. The scary idea of being trapped in a race for 3.1 miles turned into Annual “Fun-Runs” in holiday costumes and funny T-shirts. 5Ks became 10Ks and 10Ks became Half-Marathons. Crossing the finish line, the adrenaline from the runner’s high and the sight of my sister and her babies at every finish line of my big races  was and is like crack. It’s never really been about the time or speed for me but I think I decided a while ago that I’m not playing by anyone else’s rules here.

How many different races have you run?  What running plans do you have for the future?

I have run seven 5Ks, five 5-mile races, two 10Ks, four half marathons, and I plan to complete my first marathon in Chicago in the fall. I’ve taken a lot out of my body for these races and I think that choosing my next fitness goal will be exciting. I want to give my poor feet a break for a couple years and give back to my body a little bit. I don’t think I’ll be done running forever, though. The idea of completing the Paris marathon, even if it’s in 10 years, is always on my mind.

What is your running schedule like at the moment?  Does it vary at different times in the year?

When training for a half marathon or  marathon, I follow a weeks-out training schedule that consists of short runs of 3 to 5 miles on weekdays, cross-training activities and long runs on the weekend. There are always two rest days in there and occasionally I’ll jump around running long on a weekday if there’s a weekend conflict. I try to run outside as much as possible but will opt to run at the gym if it’s a 95 degree day with humidity or thunder storming. I am actually just getting into the toughest training right now with a 14 mile run approaching this weekend. At this point with long runs I try to run with a buddy for a few different reasons. One, you can only listen to music for so long before you go nuts so there is someone to chat with. Two, my buddy keeps me accountable for the miles and I’ll do the same for them. Three, you want someone with you in case you get hurt. Luckily, I have a few friends training for Chicago too!

Do you do a lot of cross training?  What other kinds of exercise are you interested in?

 Cross training has proven to be really important to me when training for a race. Personally, without it I think my body would have turned on me by now. I try to work yoga in at least once a week to help with stretching and rest. I have been taking part in hour long barre classes twice a week as well to work all parts of me. The barre classes have helped me to strengthen my core (the part of me that I feel needs the most work) which has helped with my running. Every other Friday I do spin classes with my friend and a “body pump” weight lifting class to do some intense muscle strengthening. One constant is stretching. I have only recently really been giving that the attention it deserves after a hip injury. I’m still learning the difference between listening to my body and pushing myself but I’m getting there.

What challenges have you encountered since becoming a runner?

 Challenges I have encountered include committing to a race and then having on and off days. There are days when I just don’t want to do it or by body just says “no”. There are days when I breeze through my mile goal. It’s never smooth sailing every day and it can be very difficult to continue. It’s been challenging to keep myself accountable for completing my full mile goal for that day on my own. I have a lot of support in friends, my boyfriend and family but ultimately it’s up to me – only I know if I did it or if I didn’t.

I’ve also encountered  a couple injuries. Over time my feet have become damaged from continuously slamming down on the pavement. My knees are a little worn out and recently my hips have been feeling these long runs in the worst way. These are all good signs that I’ve put my body through quite a bit and it might be time to take a break from distance running for a few years. But in the moment I’m trying to, again, give back to my body in the same way that I’m taking. Stretch, drink water, rest, use the right gear and get myself checked out by a professional if need be.

What benefits do you feel running brings to your life?

There are so many benefits to running. I can use running to clear my mind, keep myself motivated, stay healthy and let my mind wander freely for a couple hours. All of those things benefit my life and keep me sane. I would argue that there are few comparable feelings to the high after a long run.

 Some of the best places I have been for a run could also be viewed as the worst. My first half marathon was in rural New Hampshire with most of the course uphill! At the time I could of killed someone, but the view was stunning and I completed the race. Now I am proud to have run that incredibly difficult course and wouldn’t change it. The best run I have ever had was probably my first 5K – The Firecracker 5K in Delaware. I got to run that race with family and we got to dress up in costumes. I’ll never forget the joy of that day!

What advice do you have for someone who wants to get started with a running routine?

 The advice I have for someone who wants to get started with a running routine is just do it. Make your plan and dive in head first. Be practical, hold yourself accountable – build up your distance and give yourself time. This is debatable among runners I’m sure but my advice is not to think about your time for a really long time, it’s not important. Make your goal to hit your mark without stopping even if you are “jogging” slower than the guy walking next to you. Don’t for one second compare yourself to even one other person, get comfortable (not necessarily cute) running clothes and then forget about what you look like – remember that you look better out there than any person who is taking the time to judge (and they’re probably not anyway). Listen to your body, you both have to get along in order to get this done. Your body can say “no” just as sharply as you say “no” but figure out the balance with pushing yourself. Get comfortable with calling yourself a runner. 

Please keep in mind that I just went over in my mind every single thing that I struggle with daily so if you’re reading this and thinking it’s all impossible, please know that I’m right there with you and I can tell you it’s not. 

Thank you for sharing with us, Laurel!  I’m not a natural runner by any means, but I’ve been so inspired by Laurel’s hard work that I recently trained for and ran a 5K. Thank you for the push, sweet sister! Exercise hobbies do you have?  Any lifetime or recent runners?

sam is her own lady

From time to time I feature ladies who are doing their thing. Today you're going to meet Sam! I met Sam when she was in high school with my younger sisters, and I've admired her evolving style for years.  I’m thrilled that Sam agreed to answer some of my nosy questions about her look.

Tell us a little about yourself!

I am twenty-two years old, and I live in a cozy little home in Tampa, Florida with my long term boyfriend and our Miniature Schnauzer. I currently work in a coffee shop but my real passion is taking pictures. Both my boyfriend and I are also total Disney geeks and annual passholders - we go to Disney World probably every two weeks, at least!

Do you have any words or a phrases to describe your style?  

According to my boyfriend, my style is hippie/classy/vintage/alternative.

It really just depends on what I am feeling like day to day. Sometimes I feel very punk, wear my hair messy and wear a denim jacket with feminist patches all over it. Sometimes I dress up in a polka dotted dress and put my hair in victory rolls. Some days it’s high waisted shorts and a crop top, and some days it’s a striped skirt with a Doctor Who tee that really doesn’t match. Some days I’ll do dark, defined eyebrows and some days just a pop of bright lipstick. It’s about whatever I’m going to feel comfortable and happy in, in that moment.

What influences your style?  Who are your style icons?

I wouldn’t say I have any specific style icon - I mostly just get ideas from people I see around town, or on television, or on Pinterest or Tumblr. I see trends that are popular and I try the ones that interest me. I first got bangs because of Zooey Deschanel, I tried stiletto nails after seeing Lana Del Rey’s.

Do you have a typical beauty routine?

I get up for work at 5:00 in the morning, so I really don’t do anything but splash water on my face and head to work during the week. In general though, I am a huge fan of coconut oil! I moisturize with it and I do hair treatments with it from time to time. I have an exfoliating brush from Sephora that I use on my face in the shower, which I love. And I take biotin supplements which I think make my hair grow faster, although I can’t prove it.

What is the wildest look you’ve ever experimented with?

That would probably be when I chopped all of my hair off! It was terrifying and unlike anything I had done before - but I loved it and I would recommend it to anyone who is thinking of it. Everyone always says it but hair really does grow back! And even the growing-out process was fun.

Style-wise, have you ever tried something you regret?

I wouldn’t say I necessarily regret anything, because you have to try in order to figure out what works, but there have definitely been things that did NOT work. And sometimes I don’t even realize they didn’t work until much later, when I see myself in photographs. But the point is that I liked how I looked at the time, I felt cute, and that’s the fun part.

What is your favorite thing about your appearance?

I really love my legs - they are long, and I like to walk and bike and run so they have always been pretty strong. I tend to have nice, clear skin as well, which I have always been thankful for. I used to hate my thick, curly hair but I recently have learned to really love and appreciate it. And I really love my nose ring, I don’t know how I’ll ever get rid of it, or at what point it is no longer age appropriate, or whether I care.

Is there any style-related thing you’d like to try that you haven’t yet?   

I like to think that my style is constantly evolving, and at the moment there isn’t anything I can think of that I want to try but haven’t. I tend to make a point to try new things whenever I want. Like as soon as I decided my hair was long enough and I wanted to try ombre, I did it the next day. Maybe I’m a little impulsive!

How does your look affect your relationships?  Are your family and friends supportive of your experimenting?  How does your appearance affect your professional life?

My mom used to always say that my style was “intimidating” to men and that I would have trouble finding someone who liked my septum ring and wild glasses. I told her I didn’t want a partner who didn’t like those things, so who cares! Fortunately, I started dating Danny who is supportive of just about anything I do, and who didn’t even mind when I cut off the long hair he loved. At my current job I am not able to express my style much - we have a specific uniform and hats and rules - but in the future I would like to work somewhere I can dress up nice and fancy.

What has helped you define your style? Do you have any advice for someone who would like to grow in their style, or even try something new with their appearance?

Trial and error. Really, just keeping your eyes open to what other people are wearing and doing, looking at trends you see online and in the media, and try whatever appeals to you! If you don’t like it, don’t do it again, change it, laugh about it. I guess it’s about taking the leap and knowing that you can re-dye over it, you can take out a piercing and it will heal, you can buy new clothes, use some nail polish remover. Even a tattoo can be covered up! When you find something that makes you feel good, keep doing it, make it yours, and don’t worry about people who might disagree.

Thank you so much for sharing with us, Sam! You can see Sam's pictures on her flickr account, or follow her on Instagram and Twitter. I want a tattoo of the logo from the tree nursery my father and grandfather owned when I was a child OR a nontraditional hair color. How about you? Any style trends you want to try?