Be Your Own Lady Mission: Write a Summer Syllabus

My heart is heavy about the state of our world. I'm feeling more angry than I have in awhile. I am paying attention to my elected officials  I am trying to listen to the groups who deserve to have their say. And I am dealing with this the way I deal with most things: books. I am working on my summer syllabus.

I've done this twice now. I wrote about it for Book Riot. I barely ever never finish the full thing, but it's a rite of passage. A look ahead that lets me run through my whole summer. A list for those torturous moments where nothing looks appealing and I have no idea what to read next, an uncomfortable feeling that has been happening more and more lately. It's optimism in list form- sure, I'll really get through all these books! 

I've kept a bunch in mind while researching what I wanted to read this summer. In July our family is moving into a new house. We are planning for two family vacations (which means I'll turn to graphic novels). I want to read some of the authors I'll be seeing at Book Riot Live in November. I'm previewing a lot of middle grade books for the dream book club I'm hoping to get going in the fall. I'm also trying to spend some time resetting my mind. Tuning into the voices of people from different backgrounds and lifestyles. Thinking about how to use my voice on the internet and my role in the lives of my students as a place to encourage inclusivity and open mindedness.  Add it all together, mix liberally with iced coffee and sunscreen, and you've got my summer syllabus.

Books to Prepare for Book Riot Live
Burn Baby Burn by Meg Medina 

Bitch Planet Vol, 1: Extraordinary Machines by Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro 

All the Birds in the Sky by Charlie Jane Anders

Books to Prepare for The Move

The life-changing magic of tidying up by Marie Kondo (for the move) 

*I'm nervous that this might just make me feel crappy. I've heard people rave about how much they've hated and loved it. It's worth a try.

Apartment Therapy: Complete and Happy Home by Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan and Janel Label 

Graphic Novels
American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang

In Real Life by Cory Doctorow and Jen Wang

Lumberjanes (the entire series) by Noelle Stevenson and a ton of other talented ladies

*This is a reread, but it's been forever since I've read the first, so I'm going to catch up

Books About Teaching
Other People's Children: Cultural Conflict in the Classroom by Lisa Delpit 

Teaching With Intention by Debbie Miller 

The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease

Book Club Previews
The Girl In The Well Is Me by Karen Rivers

Wonder by R.J. Palacio

George by Alex Gino

Becoming Naomi Leòn by Pam Muñoz Ryan

When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor

So there's that sorted: my summer plan for reading to grow my mind, support my goals, and keep me happy in the sun. Here is my mission for you: write a summer syllabus. Add things you've been meaning to watch, listen to, or do. I wrote a how-to article about making your syllabus to help you get started. Whether it's one book or something more elaborate, I'd love to see what shape your plan takes. Feel free to comment here, and if you blog, use the hashtag #beyourownladymission so we can all read each other's work! 

2015 in Facebook Statuses

This fuzzy, muddled week between Christmas and New Years is REFLECTION TIME and I think it's pretty important to look back and figure out what you did with yourself during the last 365 days. You're awesome, I'm sure you worked hard. 

I use my personal Facebook A LOT and I decided to go back month by month and see what I had been up to. I also checked the archives here, and did a cursory scan of my Instagram and Twitter accounts. I don't hold back much, so this gave me a pretty good idea of what my year was like. 

JANUARY:

We drove home from Florida (where we spent post-Christmas and New Years) and listened to Serial. I talked a lot about books and posted videos of the kids. I shoveled a lot of snow. Elliott turned 2. Penguin died in Ben's arms and it was strange saying goodbye to him. My favorite book I read in January was EVIL LIBRARIAN by Michelle Knudsen. My favorite quote was from our road trip.

January 2 · Fredericksburg, VA · 
The 10-yr-old in this Subway, wearing stretchy pants and thick glasses, laying sideways across two chairs, reading a paperback and chewing on a straw? She's my spirit animal. I love her.

FEBRUARY:

I read two trilogies and there were a ton more snow days. Papa died and my flight got canceled to go be with the family, so I posted a lot of pictures of him, and everyone reached out with lots of love. Parks and Rec ended and I devoured YES PLEASE  by Amy Poehler. The kids and I danced A LOT to Shake It Off. My favorite quote was from Milo.

February 21 · 
Milo: Maybe when I'm older I can love a guy or a girl or a zebra or a cat.

Anything, baby.

MARCH:

Lots more books. Ben's horror trailer was shown at the Boston Underground Film Festival and I was so damn proud. I took Elliott to meet his bae, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. We had Papa's memorial service in Vermont and there was lots of lovely singing and remembering. I was deep into watching Friends on Netflix and reposting from Humans of New York (kind of a theme for 2015 in general.) My favorite book I read was WHEN YOU REACH ME by Rebecca Stead. My favorite quote was from Laurel, actually spoken in 2013 but still my favorite quote of possibly all time.

March 16
Two years ago

Debating whether to send flowers as a bday gift. Laurel: "well, they're going to die. But so are we."

APRIL:

In April I did Camp NaNoWriMo, adding another 30K to my word count for my novel, and really started trying to figure out how to end this thing. It was getting warmer and the pictures of my kids showed snow melting and mud pies being made. I went to The Lady Project Summit in Providence, but it took me a few weeks to realize how honestly disappointed I was in the whole thing. During April vacation, my mother-in-law took both boys so I could spend an adult day by myself in Portsmouth, and that was incredibly special. I wasn't over the moon about anything I read that month, but if I had to guess I'd say my favorite was ATTACHMENTS by Rainbow Rowell. My favorite quote was about some of my favorite things: my kids and Target.

April 28 · 
Afternoons with these kids are the best. Elliott is super chill and content to cruise and listen to music, whereas Milo needs to know the plan and always suspects I'm secretly taking them to Target.

MAY:

Lots of writing and reading and hanging out at playgrounds with my sweet little ones. We celebrated Mother's Day at the Gardner Ale House. We ate a lot of popsicles. My kick ass nephew turned one. I loved reading STATION ELEVEN by Emily St. John Mandel and READY PLAYER ONE by Ernest Cline. My favorite quote is tied.

This realization about my writing:

May 6 · 
Trying to write a badass girl character and constantly going back to her dialogue to remove "I think that maybe," "If you don't mind," and "I'm sorry, but." This shit is INGRAINED, yo.

And this accurate representation of many of my discussions with my husband:

May 23 · 
Me: What things do you think are real and what things do you think are made up?

Ben: *looks at me tiredly*

JUNE:

SUMMER, SUCKAS! A teacher's life is truly the best. MILO GOT A LIBRARY CARD! Ben and I celebrated eight years of being married. I printed my novel on paper. I folded and bought a season pass to our local farm/adventure park, then spent the entire summer pretending Elliott was under two, even though he was edging closer and closer to three. We celebrated Ben being a rad dad. Elliott sang a lot of songs on video and became a mini-internet star. I read a lot from the FEARLESS series by Francine Pascal and reread GIRL OF NIGHTMARES by Kendare Blake, a favorite YA horror series. My favorite quote kind of sums up how I am treated like a princess.

June 7 · 
I've been reading in the tub for an hour. Ben just delivered me a slice of cold pizza. ‪#‎beyourbestself‬ ‪#‎holdoutforafairytale‬

JULY:

Our yearly 3rd of July trip to Gloucester for the parade and fireworks was a success. I went on a REALLY fun vacation to Florida with a lot of my female family members to celebrate my sister's wedding- we fit a bachelorette and a bridal shower into one weekend and I had a TOTAL blast. I read lots and lots and started submitting book and TV reviews to What the Fangirl. I had some really great dates with lovely friends. We had a cookout and I got the first part of the tattoo on my forearm. I drank a lot and wrote a lot and lived the damn life. My favorite book was THE AWESOME by Eva Darrows. My favorite quote was real.

July 28 · 
Fantasy: "OH my god, the kids are gone for 24 hours, I'm going to go to the gym, hang pictures, shower and dress proper, date my husband, and generally SEIZE THE DAY!

Reality: "OH my god, the kids are gone for 24 hours, I don't have to wear pants and will not be interrupted during this marathon obscure fanfic search."

AUGUST:

Going back over these months makes me ache for summer, traditionally my least favorite season of the year. We went to Sesame Place as a family and spent a really fun day with my aunt and uncle at their house in Delaware- Milo still talks about jumping off the diving board with Captain Jack. We went to Cherry Hill for ice cream often. On the internet I was obsessed with the Buzzfeed videos "If Guy _________ Were like Girl _________" and The Toast's series "If ___________ was your girl/boyfriend."  School started. My favorite books were both graphic novels: DRAMA by Rania Telegimi and NIMONA by Noelle Stevenston. My favorite quote makes my heart squeeze up a little.  

August 28 · 
I need to be corny for a minute. At the end of a busy first week back, I'm feeling so heart-swellingly grateful, and I can't stay quiet. I love being where I am right now: living in my sweet friendly neighborhood, working with people I love and admire, watching my kids rough and tumble little members of their gang. I like running into neighbors at the grocery store and seeing students at the street festival. I've moved around a bit and it's taken a few decades to find my groove, but I am really lucky to feel so at home in a place I wasn't born. A lot of you are a part of that, so thanks.

SEPTEMBER:

In September I got to know and love my current class, my little sister got married (which meant family vacation to Florida and Milo's first big trip without us to stay with his Mimi), and Ben and I went to a dear friend's wedding in Vermont where I rode a ski lift with increasing excitement throughout the evening. I had a whirlwind birthday weekend with Ben when we stayed in a nice hotel and went to see Book of Mormon in Boston. I read my first issue of Ms. Marvel and got really into Doctor Who. My favorite quote demonstrates the fine white girl tradition of getting amped for FALL.

September 9  
Hi. I'm Ashlie. I'm a 30-year-old white female, and I will buy literally anything if you decorate the package with rustic flowers and put the word 'fall' on it.‪#‎fall‬ ‪#‎pumpkinspice‬ ‪#‎yogapants‬ ‪#‎brunch‬ ‪#‎applepicking‬ ‪#‎scarfweather‬‪#‎notevenkidding‬ ‪#‎icanteven‬ ‪#‎icantstop‬ ‪#‎help‬

OCTOBER:

This month was huge huge huge. Milo turned 4 and we picked a lot of apples. I turned 30 and my mother, husband, and sister threw me a HUGE surprise party. Laurel orchestrated a whole weekend where I felt so special and spoiled, and the twins flew in from Florida to surprise me. After a whole day of being pampered in the city with my sisters, I got home to find all my nearest and dearest under a glowing tent in the backyard, and MY MOM AND RAY HAD FLOWN IN, TOO. One of my best friends had driven from New York with her sweet baby. I saw so many faces of people that I loved and drank a ton of great beer. I am still reeling from the amazement. I also visited the Boston Book Festival for the first time and heard amazing speakers and left so excited to be a reader in this awesome world. I heard Hamilton for the first time. Halloween was lovely and Ben took a picture of all of us as Star Wars characters. The month was exciting and exhausting. My favorite book was CARRY ON by Rainbow Rowell. My favorite quote speaks to a yearly issue.

October 3 · 
Pumped full of steroids to fight poison ivy. Let my first dose really set in and now I'm headed to Market Basket to hulk out on the first asshole to cut me off in the deli.

NOVEMBER:

In November I wrote a ton and had an awesome Thanksgiving.  I squeaked through NaNoWriMo by the skin of my teeth and still didn't realize my goal of completely finishing my novel. Thanksgiving was lovely and meeting up with my sister for Black Friday was awesome. I listened to Hamilton. My favorite book was THE DIVINERS by Libba Bray. My favorite quote was about how crazy the world is getting at the end of 2015.

November 18 · 
Facebook: daily revealing prejudices about people you were happy just smiling at in real life.

DECEMBER:

This month was kind of a fever pitch of holiday activities and wrapping up the year. Ben turned 36 and we finally saw The Force Awakens.  We met Santa and bought presents and spent time with friends. We ate cookies and listened to Hamilton. A lot. We spent Christmas with family in Delaware and spent a busy/amazing day in Philadelphia. Humans of New York featured a bunch of Syrian refugees getting ready to come to America and it broke my heart every day.  My favorite book was LAIR OF DREAMS by Libba Bray. My favorite quote was from a day of shopping with Milo.

December 19 at 5:02pm · 
Shout outs to: the lady picking up her check at Dunks sipping on a Gourmet Donuts coffee, the people at Old Navy who found my lost iPhone, and the shoppers who patiently stepped over my four year old when he finally gave up and laid flat on the floor of the mall on the Saturday before Christmas. You all made my day.

Guys, this year was just one long party. I bought what I wanted and I read what I wanted and a traveled a ton. I met friends for dinners and book dates and I got my kids hooked on the music I loved which made all car rides pretty awesome. Even though no major milestones were worked for me personally, the year felt super full and I love that I spent so much time really settling into my tastes and preferences. That's not something I granted to myself any earlier in life.

2016 will be a little different. I have some work to do, some plans to make, and some shit to finish. I'm going to hang onto this year as a memory of fun and living true to my desires, and appreciate the awesome kick off to the next decade.

My favorite posts of the year: On diets and health food and feminism and power, Take the Compliment. Seriously., Shower Drinking, Diary of Going 96 Hours Without My Cellphone, In My Next 30 Years

Top Three 2015 Releases

I read more this year than I had in many, many years before it. Even before my kids were born, I was a recreational reader at best, spending a lot more time perusing blogs and rereading the same three or four novels. My word for 2015 was write, and I did, but the one thing I've learned is that writers need to read, and there is a LOT of good stuff out there to get excited about.

So many books touched me this year, but I really want to highlight three that were released in 2015. I mostly read YA written by women, and these three books are no exception. Some books are important to me because they're page-turners, some for their love triangles (I am SUCH a sucker for a good love triangle), and others because something about the plot or structure helps me in my own writing. These three were special on the merit of their stories.

Nimona by Noelle Stevenson

Goodreads summary: Nemeses! Dragons! Science! Symbolism! All these and more await in this brilliantly subversive, sharply irreverent epic from Noelle Stevenson...Nimona is an impulsive young shapeshifter with a knack for villainy. Lord Ballister Blackheart is a villain with a vendetta. As sidekick and supervillain, Nimona and Lord Blackheart are about to wreak some serious havoc. Their mission: prove to the kingdom that Sir Ambrosius Goldenloin and his buddies at the Institution of Law Enforcement and Heroics aren't the heroes everyone thinks they are.

There is SO MUCH GOOD in this graphic novel. I immediately identified with Nimona because she's a chick in a comic with hips and thighs and a belly on her. I was never interested in cosplay before I read this book. The way Nimona looks features exactly zero into this story, which is also refreshing. (She's actually a shapeshifter, so she can look any way she wants. She mostly turns into animals.) Then I started warming to the nuanced relationship between the "evil" Balister Blackheart and the "hero" Sir Goldenloin (YUP) and then I just realized that I was head over heels for all of it, all the relationships and the mishmash of science and magic and Nimona herself, an unsexualized, bloodthirsty, adorable female protagonist with thrills and flaws and humor. (Bonus points: the creator, Noelle Stevenson, is the best on Twitter (@gingerhazing). I cried reading her thoughts of seeing girls in The Force Awakens)

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Goodreads summary: Simon Snow is the worst chosen one who’s ever been chosen. That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right. Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up. Carry On is a ghost story, a love story, a mystery and a melodrama. It has just as much kissing and talking as you’d expect from a Rainbow Rowell story—but far, far more monsters.

I was waiting for this one. This was my year of Rainbow Rowell- I read Fangirl around this time last year and went bananas. Early in 2015 I flew through Landline and Attachments, started following Rowell on Twitter, and realized what Carry On truly was: a novel featuring the characters and plot that were the basis of all the fanfiction in Fangirl. It's a departure for Rowell, with all the fantasy and magic, but she weaves it into a modern society with this world building that I really enjoyed, and of course, the characters are what makes it worth loving. Penelope Bunce is my opposite and I admire her hardcore and she might be my favorite book girl I met this year. This is the only book I've read twice in 2015, and I know I'll be reading it again soon.

Lair of Dreams (& The Diviners) by Libba Bray

Goodreads summary: In this heart-stopping sequel to The Diviners, Printz Award-winning and New York Times bestselling author Libba Bray takes readers deeper into the mystical underbelly of New York City. (I'm only sharing the last paragraph because this is a sequel and I sincerely suggest you read The Diviners before diving into Lair of Dreams.)

Libba Bray was the YA keynote speaker at the Boston Book Festival this year, and I heard her speak before I had ever read any of her books. She was hilarious (Talking about her process: "I don't outline. I had fourteen outlines for Lair of Dreams. The thirteenth was called 'Help Me Baby Jesus.' The fourteenth was called 'Jesus Can't Help You.'") and engaging, and when I got home I started reading the first in her most recent series, The Diviners. The book is meticulous and sprawling, set in the 1920s with a large and diverse cast of characters. The background is researched to death (in the best possible way) and the details flesh out a world that you basically inhabit while reading the book. I particularly liked the slang. Sam calling everyone "doll" kind of did me in. Add in a hit of magical mysticism and I was hooked. Like, stop at the bookstore on the way home to pick up Book Two hooked. Lair of Dreams continues with the same characters you come to love and has the same loving attention to detail as the first, with a disconcerting echo of some of the scary social issues we're dealing with today. I am eagerly awaiting the next book in the series.

There were other books that stuck with me this year that didn't make the list because they weren't published in 2015 OR had some major problems but I loved them anyway: Evil Librarian, When You Reach Me, The Awesome, The Darkest Part of the Forest. You can see all the details on my Goodreads year-end round up here. 

Here are some other year-end book lists to spark your interest: book punks, 100 damn good books of 2015, new york times notable children's books, the mother of all lists (this is a HUGE list of OTHER top book lists, so get some coffee and have at it)

What was your favorite book you read this year? More importantly, anything you have your eye on for 2016? I'm ready to fill up my TBR pile. Here we go.

Make A List, You'll Feel Better

What do feminism and organization have in common? You can't bash the patriarchy if you lose your keys on the way the rally.

Seriously, though. Where are my keys?

It's been funny, getting older. I know I'm barely older. I'm scratching the surface of older. But one of the things I'm realizing is even though I'm quite fond of talking about myself and writing about myself and wondering about myself, I have been in denial about myself for awhile. I am frequently late, inherently messy, and as scatterbrained as they come. I've made excuses ("I'm just overwhelmed with too many activities right now!") and they've been made for me ("You have two small kids!") but the truth has always been the same. Keeping my shit together is very hard for me, and without discipline, I can easily crumble. I don't crumble cutely.

Being organized doesn't feel very rebellious, and I'm not old enough yet to be over that. I want to be cool and spontaneous and roll out of bed and get up and throw together an outfit and do something creative with my time instead of planning. The problem is, then there is no clean underwear and without a well-packed lunch I will get SUPER GRUMPY and if I forget to cancel that doctor's appointment they are going to drop me as a patient. One of my favorite quotes is this commandment from Gustave Flaubert: Be steady and well-ordered in your life so you can be fierce and original in your work. This makes sense to me. Save that spark and leave it on the page. Don't waste all your crazy in front of the fridge eating straight butter, crying because you can't figure out what to feed your family for dinner (that has never happened.)

My good friend Kacey said LISTS SAVE LIVES and I love it. Routines are another golden ticket. Yeah, sometimes it doesn't feel very subversive to do the same thing at the same time every day, but you know what is subversive? Taking the hours you've got in a day and killing it, knowing that you're going to get your shit done and then have time to paint your nails or work on your side hustle or binge-watch something because you took control. Another thing routine can do is reduce your decision fatigue. This is a real ass thing that can drain you- making decisions makes your brain tired. If you can use routine to get rid of the paralyzing What do I do next? feeling, then you save that decision power for important stuff.

So that is where I am right now. During one of the busiest months of the year at my house, I am balancing everything using pen & paper and a downright ridiculous number of iPhone alarms, set to tell me what I am supposed to be doing at any given moment.  My absolute FAVORITE tool right now is this Daily Page notepad from the Etsy shop Thyme is Honey. I ordered one of these pads a few years ago and only realized when I ran out how much comfort I had found in just the act of writing out my day.  There is space for water and food consumption, fitness plan, today's goals, lots of To Dos, daily tasks, purchase, notes + ideas,  and a schedule of events.  The color and font combination is visually soothing. Even owning this pad makes me feel 45% more capable of handling my life.

I like it so much that I decided I had to spread the love, so I am giving one away. But I am greedy, so I am making you give me information in return for a chance to win. Please leave a comment on this post and tell me what you do to stay organized. Weird, out-there tips encouraged. Use the rafflecopter link below to rack up entries, and the giveaway closes on October 24th!  

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck & happy listing!