Saturday, February 14, 2015

February 14th, 2015

There are a lot of things I need to do right now.  I need to make a grocery list.  And a meal plan.  One before the other.  I need to scrub the tub crayon off the tile in the bathroom.  I need to read my library book before it's due, and work on my story before I lose steam.  I need to read the play one dear friend wrote, and mail a book to another.  I need to take the tags off the little play animals I bought the boys for Valentine's Day, and dig their little metal mailboxes out of the hall closet.  I need to take out the trash, and fold the laundry that has been in a heaping pile on the armchair for a week.  For a week. There is probably at least one toddler snack tucked in those once-clean clothes.  My house smells a little, and I really want to take a shower.

This morning, though, I've been cleaning digital house.  Doing the purge that I often do when I'm feeling stale and stilted- getting rid of blogs and Instagram accounts that make me feel icky.  Searching for feeds that will feed me.  Ones about writing, and picture books, and magic, and astrology. I've been browsing pictures of women around the world celebrating Galentine's Day, and it's been making me slightly weepy.  Good weepy. It's taken me so stinking long to recognize the need for girlfriends.  Girl Friends.  Women to go arm-in-arm with.  Ladies to laugh with at 10:30 on Friday night at Chilis.  Ladies to share Harry Potter buzzfeed articles with.  Ladies to trade badawesome puns.  Ladies to cry about raising kids, to admit "failures" to.  Ladies I trust to see the inside of my car (read: the floor, and the things that gather in cup holders). I can't list them all.  I'm so lucky to have them.

Today is Valentine's Day, and we usually celebrate by going to a museum.  I think this year we might just settle for a diner outing, maybe a stop at a bookstore.  Our family's love is best celebrated by reading, watching movies, staying local.  Ben took me to Barnes and Noble on our first Valentine's Day. We're not glamorous people.  He rubs my feet.  If I stay awake to the end of a movie, it's considered an act of passion.

I just wanted to check in.  To hear myself talking out loud.  It's a rough time: family illness, endless snow storms, mental exhaustion. The kids aren't sleeping.  Ben and I are restless. My computer is broken, the boys keep peeing in our bed, and jumping on the couch (I'm not like the other moms, I'm a cool mom!) has led to broken springs that push into our asses when we try to relax.  BUT oh BUT BUT BUT. We have oil in the tank and we are together.  We are healthy and mostly happy.  We live on the greatest iceberg with the best museums and schools. We have shared interests and personal projects and a tiny scrap of wisdom that lets us realize that this mess is temporary and it is to be cherished.  At least 70% of the time.  

This ends my stream of consciousness. Stay warm, lovelies.

2 comments:

  1. Happy love day, friend! We celebrate quite similarly, a nice home dinner and a movie (and a trip to home depot too... Which makes me ever so happy)

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  2. I'm feeling this post a lot. I'm sorting through my bloglovin' feed right now and I also have a pile of laundry in the hall / a peed on bed and a semi-destroyed couch - (from letting the boys use sharpies - they want to be artists, how could i say no??)

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