February 14th, 2015

There are a lot of things I need to do right now.  I need to make a grocery list.  And a meal plan.  One before the other.  I need to scrub the tub crayon off the tile in the bathroom.  I need to read my library book before it's due, and work on my story before I lose steam.  I need to read the play one dear friend wrote, and mail a book to another.  I need to take the tags off the little play animals I bought the boys for Valentine's Day, and dig their little metal mailboxes out of the hall closet.  I need to take out the trash, and fold the laundry that has been in a heaping pile on the armchair for a week.  For a week. There is probably at least one toddler snack tucked in those once-clean clothes.  My house smells a little, and I really want to take a shower.

This morning, though, I've been cleaning digital house.  Doing the purge that I often do when I'm feeling stale and stilted- getting rid of blogs and Instagram accounts that make me feel icky.  Searching for feeds that will feed me.  Ones about writing, and picture books, and magic, and astrology. I've been browsing pictures of women around the world celebrating Galentine's Day, and it's been making me slightly weepy.  Good weepy. It's taken me so stinking long to recognize the need for girlfriends.  Girl Friends.  Women to go arm-in-arm with.  Ladies to laugh with at 10:30 on Friday night at Chilis.  Ladies to share Harry Potter buzzfeed articles with.  Ladies to trade badawesome puns.  Ladies to cry about raising kids, to admit "failures" to.  Ladies I trust to see the inside of my car (read: the floor, and the things that gather in cup holders). I can't list them all.  I'm so lucky to have them.

Today is Valentine's Day, and we usually celebrate by going to a museum.  I think this year we might just settle for a diner outing, maybe a stop at a bookstore.  Our family's love is best celebrated by reading, watching movies, staying local.  Ben took me to Barnes and Noble on our first Valentine's Day. We're not glamorous people.  He rubs my feet.  If I stay awake to the end of a movie, it's considered an act of passion.

I just wanted to check in.  To hear myself talking out loud.  It's a rough time: family illness, endless snow storms, mental exhaustion. The kids aren't sleeping.  Ben and I are restless. My computer is broken, the boys keep peeing in our bed, and jumping on the couch (I'm not like the other moms, I'm a cool mom!) has led to broken springs that push into our asses when we try to relax.  BUT oh BUT BUT BUT. We have oil in the tank and we are together.  We are healthy and mostly happy.  We live on the greatest iceberg with the best museums and schools. We have shared interests and personal projects and a tiny scrap of wisdom that lets us realize that this mess is temporary and it is to be cherished.  At least 70% of the time.  

This ends my stream of consciousness. Stay warm, lovelies.

Setting the tone for 2014

Last night, despite all the work I do to avoid this kind of letdown, I allowed my expectations to completely ruin New Year's Eve.  To be fair, they were low expectations.  I only wanted to eat Chinese food with my whole family, drink a bottle of champagne with my husband, and flip back through pictures of 2013 in order to make a slideshow or scrapbook or something.  Not too demanding.  But impossible.

Some factors working against us that I studiously ignored:

1. New Year's Eve Chinese food orders need to be placed hours and hours early, and most places don't deliver on New Year's Eve.  I had this idea that I would call in my order an hour or so before I wanted to eat and a kind delivery person would drop off steaming dinner to myself and my delighted, well-behaved children.  I spent more time planning what decorative mugs I would use to float tea lights than how a realistic dinner would play out.  I honestly had a picture in my head of all of us opening cookies and sharing our fortunes.  ALL OF US.  I PICTURED ELLIOTT DOING THIS.

2.  Ben was getting out of work "early," but whenever I let that loose term become something concrete, I set myself up for disappointment.  He ended up needing to make deliveries on the way home and I also asked him to pick up a bottle of champagne (something else you don't leave for 6pm on December 31st), so my idea of sitting down to eat at our normal time got pushed further and further back.

3.  Milo has been weirdly, crazily sick for four or five days now.  He'll go from completely exhausted and lethargic to happy and smiling to uncontrollably crying, all in a period of 20 minutes.  His only real symptoms are occasional fever and lack of appetite, but his behavior has been ridiculous, especially in the evenings.  Asking him to wait an extra hour for dinner, asking him to eat when he hasn't in a week...this was too much, but I refused to accept that.

So then real life happened.  The Chinese food order wasn't going to work out, so I defaulted to some Applebee's carside to go, because it would be easy for Ben to pick up.  I know, beyond a doubt, that Applebee's carside to go is always gross.  I ordered it anyway.  The boys were angels until about 15 minutes before Ben was supposed to get home, and then things began to fall apart.  Ben walked in on me losing my temper on a hysterically sobbing Milo.  I think he wanted Mickey?  Seeing Daddy helped until he realized that he had to sit at the dinner table instead of hanging out with Daddy.  He went into a fit (half normal kiddo, half sick psycho) screaming "ME DOWN" until we all hated each other.  Ben and I picked at our food and tried to salvage some portion of THE LAST DINNER OF 2013!  At this point the candles and even real plates were abandoned and we were eating with our hands out of the take out containers.

The hysterics got to be too much so we all started trying to do baths. Milo was still screaming for Mickey like it would save his life and Elliott was getting ignored.  I did not help matters by literally tuning out and falling asleep on the couch.  Ben wrestled the kids into bed and we argued about whether you open champagne at midnight or you can sip it all evening long.  We looked around for The Three Stooges and shared 15 minutes of smiles and laughs.  I fell asleep around 10 when Ben started browsing Netflix.  I woke up at one point because one of the kids was crying and Ben wandered out of the their room holding a glass of champagne.

"Happy New Year."

"Wait, really?  Did we miss it?"

"It's 12:06."

I think that hurt worse than waking up at one or something.  I really like the countdown and seeing everybody cheer and smooching Ben.  I got a text from my mom and went to brush my teeth.  Ben was already asleep.  I was really, really disappointed.

I didn't have time to simmer in my discontent, because Milo woke up screaming and sobbing and sick.  Just as Ben settled him down to sleep with us, Elliott woke up with a high fever.  At least now we could rule out rabies, which was literally what I thought Milo might have.  I ended up sleeping on the floor with Elliott, because both boys needed skin-to-skin contact to make it through the night.  I woke up this morning, half wedged under Milo's crib, and panicked that we might have accidentally just set the tone for 2014.

Then I laughed.  Of course this is the tone for 2014.  This is the realest of real life.  No matter what Instagram or memories of my childhood or my best intentions say to the contrary, most of the time we're dealing with screaming, harried dinners, sick kids, working late, and the letdown of things not going to plan.  I might ask Ben for a redo tonight.  It will be much easier to procure Chinese food, and we could put the kids to bed on time to avoid a cage match over pajamas.  Or maybe I'll just move on through the new year, remembering that our family isn't defined by how we celebrate holidays, but how we handle the day to day.  Here's to keeping it real in 2014.

Self Care for the Most Hassled Time of the Year

(credit for my favorite picture ever, found via pinterest)

I remember the moment I realized self-care was needed in hectic seasons.  It was my first year teaching kindergarten, and I was throwing a pumpkin carving party for my students and their parents.  It involved a skit, roasted pumpkin seeds, cutting and cleaning pumpkins, pouring cider, and ushering in/out an astonishing number of family members who showed up.  The day of, I was too busy getting party supplies to prep for the school day.  Instead of my bottled water and packed lunch, I picked up a huge iced coffee full of pumpkin syrup and ordered food from a nearby Chinese restaurant as a treat.  Running to get my order meant that I missed my time to eat AS WELL AS my time to organize myself before the parents came.  I ended up being more rushed than I wanted, gulping coffee on an empty stomach.  The party was fine, but I recall a moment after everyone had gone home, standing over a trash can and eating a terriakyi skewer that I didn't even want anymore, thinking, "This is the one day I  needed healthy snacks and extra water.  I feel gross."

Usually, when situations are really stressful or busy, I justify a trillion cups of coffee or an avalanche of fun sized candies by telling myself that I deserve it, when honestly the only way to make myself feel better is to reach for water and almonds more often than not.  I've gotten more deliberate about my choices during holidays and other busy times, but I can always use reminders; here are some steps we're taking right now to stay sane.

1. Routine rules

When friends visit, when special movies are on TV, when I'm exhausted and want to walk around Target for an extended period of time...these are all examples of when our school night routine gets thrown out the window.  During our Thanksgiving break, we had my sister with us, which meant an enormous help with dishes, babysitting, extra tickle fights and silliness.  It also meant late bedtimes and tons of sweets and having company over meant pie for breakfast....over and over again.  Monday was our first day back into the rhythms of our normal home life, and it was boring.  Boring felt good.  We do a little play time, a little cleaning, a few shows, then dinner, baths, books, and bed.  It's a lot of work to keep that flow going, and typically either Ben or I is doing it by ourselves, but it pays off when everyone is in bed by 7:30, dinner in their bellies, teeth brushed and their heads full of bedtime stories.   If I follow all the steps, I also end up with lunches packed, clothes picked out, and a wiped down kitchen. That is money in the bank.  I've heard that a good morning/evening routine has 3-5 repeatable steps; sketch one out for yourself or your family and rely on that autopilot when things inevitably get insane.

2. Water, water, water, water

I've been drinking more water.  I'm aware that this isn't breaking news, but, once again, it makes me feel good.  I've been reading about creating simple morning and evening routines for ourselves as adults, and one of the suggested things to add to your routine was "drink a glass of water."  Simple is beautiful; I jumped on that one right away.  I have a glass before breakfast and a glass before bed, as well as at least one 24 ounce bottle during the day.  I started making a cup of herbal tea when my students go to their specials at 1pm.  I'm trying to resist the urge to pick up a coffee EVERY time I'm out doing errands- I rarely finish them if I'm out with the boys, and I'd like them to feel special again. I get the boys into it by being obsessive about having water cups and teaching them how to "cheers" each other.  Even in the midst of the grossest tantrum, I can get a sip out of Milo if we clink water bottles dramatically first. Basically- we're made of water, and winter is a dry season, so drink up, my friends.

3. Do You

This is a bit of a revelation for me, but I'm not going to feel very good unless I'm making the effort to do things I enjoy.  For instance, I really love to read- blogs, novels, magazines, on the Kindle, in the bathtub, on the elliptical machine, in bed- but I can get away from it and go months without picking up a book.  If I fall asleep on the couch every night, I miss my chance to get in a chapter before I sleep.  If I get a spare 15 minutes and waste it rereading Facebook statuses, I've lost the opportunity to check in with some of my favorite pretend friends who live in my blog reader.  I've had to work to get reading back into my every day life.  Yes, I'm busy, working full time and taking care of very young children and going to grad school, but the truth is, I have time for lots of movies on the couch and Vine binges, so reading can fit back into my life, too.  Right now I'm reading Clash of Kings (from the Game of Thrones series) when I go to the gym, Insurgent (from the Divergent series) before bed or in the bathtub, and I'm waking up at 5 am to read blogs and write for myself.  This takes work, and a commitment to occasionally go to the gym, but, keeping with my theme, IT IS WORTH IT.  Pick one thing that is defining of you, and let it feed you when things are really busy.  Whether it's running, taking cool photographs, cooking special meals, or holding themed movie marathons, there's no need to reinvent the wheel if something already exists that makes you feel even more like yourself.

The ironic thing about self-care is that none of it is really a mystery.  We know that water and healthy food and a good bedtime are important, but sometimes most times it's easier to stay on the couch for one more rerun of the Simpsons than to do the right thing.  These tips are also chronically boring; picking water over a holiday sugar-bomb coffee is never very thrilling, and sometimes almost feels un-American (I mean, it IS Christmas, right?).  Still, this is the prime time of year to go completely overboard while everyone around you cheers you for it, so being deliberate about at least one of these tips might save you from having to start COMPLETELY over in January.  I'm far from perfect- I still over sleep or get too lazy to wash the kids bottles before they dry all crusty or fall down a rabbit hole into high-school friends' Instagram feeds. But I'm trying.  Here's to a slightly calmer, slightly more hydrated December.  Cheers!

Homeschool Summer Activities Round Up

After the first three super productive weeks of Homeschool Summer, things started unraveling a little.  There was a mini heat wave, there were pool invitations.  I started having the occasional meeting for work.  We were all a little tired.  The week's themes started to spread out, and by the end, they had dropped off completely.  Still, I managed an activity here and there that I want to jot down for memory's sake.  

We instituted a post-nap book hangout on Mama and Daddy's bed.  This was great for days when I felt like we had spent the entire time running around and I wanted something intellectual to happen.  Then I'd pop on a movie.  These are some of our favorites mid-summer.

Early this summer, we ditched our normal coffee table and plopped down a big play table I found at a yard sale.  The table top is two removable panels- one side depicts a landscape with trees and a lake, and the other was plain white, until I hit it with a few coats of chalkboard spray paint.  It's really fun to draw roads, words, or designs.  It's also provided valuable lessons about what we do and don't put chalk on.

During food and cooking week, I had Milo help me make pancakes (yum), banana bread, (YUM!), and chocolate avocado popsicles (ugh).  He loved dumping ingredients in, mixing, mashing bananas, etc.  I would also put a small amount of plain flour on the table and let him have a sensory jamboree by sending it flying everywhere. 

We used play food and a tea set to practice setting the table.  Many times I would demonstrate putting the food on the plate or pouring an imaginary drink into a cup, always saying "please" and "thank you" way too cheerfully.  At first he looked at me like I was a lunatic, but by the end of the summer, he is pouring little cups of fake cider from a tiny gallon jug and offering them to everyone politely.  It blows my mind to think of concrete things he had no grasp on that he gets now.

This trunk picnic was a necessity when we needed lunch on a road trip this summer, but I would definitely repeat it, maybe somewhere super fun.  This would be a good end cap to a trip to a different park or after a family hike.  We put down the back seat and laid out a blanket, then ate the most boring food ever, but it was special because we were in a gas station parking lot and there were guys unloading a Dunks truck while we lunched.

Next summer, when I'm planning "Homeschool Summer" or "Stay-At-Home Day Camp," I'll approach it differently.  Less themes with more time devoted to them.  I'll also try to work sensory play, cooking, and art in weekly, as opposed to a week just for those fun things.  I like the idea of still field tripping on Fridays, but maybe something special every two weeks.  I noticed this summer that some of my plans couldn't happen because I underestimated what I would be able to do with both boys- really letting Milo experience a museum or zoo without an extra pair of hands was not in the cards.

We also didn't get outside enough.  I know it's because I'm not an outside girl and I don't really want to pass that on to my babies.  It's just such an ORDEAL to cart Elliott out, find a shady, blanketed area that he can be mildly entertained, get Milo's shoes on, get everyone sunscreened, and be outside for 20 minutes before Milo is bored and we cart everything back in.  Next summer, when everyone is walking, it will either be easier or harder.

All in all, I think Homeschool Summer was a success.  Especially at the beginning, when I was following through, I loved coming up with activities, sourcing books at the library, and finding time everyday to practice language more deliberately.  Milo is talking and communicating much more than at the beginning of the summer, but I honestly think it's due mainly to him growing and the 3x a week speech therapy that he's getting.  Still, we're reading, and talking, and playing together, and that's helping, too.

"Homeschool" Summer: Sensory Week

(Pool noodle bath to kick off a week of sensory experiences)

I'm really behind in reporting how our adventures with "homeschool" summer have been going.  We started off strong, with lots of activities and follow-through on the Friday Field Trips.  Different heat waves and family issues and the laziness of midsummer mean that we're waaaaay slowed down at this point, but let's go  back to happier times...

Sensory Week was definitely my favorite so far.  Basically we got to do something fun and messy every day, and Milo really loved the play time.  In looking ahead to next summer, I'm not sure that we'll do something quite so structured, but I'll definitely have some of these activities on repeat weekly.

Activities We Did:

Bug Fossils in Play dough:  I had some rubber bugs from the party section of Target and we smushed them into chunks of play dough.  It was awesome because they had the perfect amount of detail to look really cool when you peeled them away.  We used the words SQUISH and PRESS.

Ooblech Transfer: Our ooblech came out way too runny, and I would have liked to have different colors in different muffin tins, so I know what I want to try next time.  Still, Milo LOVED moving the ooblech from one tin to another, and rubbing it all over the table and himself to watch it dry.

Rice Bin Disaster: I took the rice bin back out a few times this week.  Here is the aftermath of leaving in unattended for only about 3 minutes.  Milo went insane when he could actually climb in the rice bin and play.  It was worth the mess, but it's been relegated to an outdoors toy.

Shaving Cream Exploration: This was really fun.  Even my first graders love to go crazy with shaving cream, so I knew Milo would like it, but my favorite part was using it like cement to make some awesome block towers.  Everything smelled like a barbershop but it kept Milo from thinking this was whipped cream and he didn't attempt any tastes. Next time I might add a drop of color or start the cream out inside a container and see how he spreads it out.  

Gross Motor Obstacle Course: I was so proud of myself, coming up with a cool obstacle course that got us outdoors and using the whole body.  It was toddler-simple: over the box (you get to jump on the box!), through the tunnel (you love this tunnel!), and throw the ball into the bucket a the end (you throw balls in the house all the time!).  I showed him twice, but Milo was not having it.  He wouldn't try it even once.  Don't let my genius go to waste- try it at your house today.

Elliott got into the act this week, too.  We have a few cloth books with tons of sensory input on each page- cellophane sewn into pages, ribbon and silk pulls, mirrors, buttons, and squeekers.  You can buy these at Barnes and Noble or Amazon, and more talented mamas probably make custom ones that would blow your mind.  I also made him a "play tent" when I felt guilty for needing him to chill in his pack and play one morning.  A few different dangly toys for interest, and a large muslin blanket thrown over the bar to diffuse the light.  He kicked like crazy, which is his way of saying, "I love this, you're awesome, Mama."

For our field trip, we went to the Modern Edge Art Bar in Fitchburg.  Saturday mornings they have a toddler sensory art class, so some great friends watched Elliott while Milo and I checked it out.  It cost ten dollars and there were cool sensory tables set up for free play.  A lot we had seen this week already- shaving cream, a big rice bin (their rice was multicolored, which I liked), play dough...but they also had moon sand, which I had never seen or felt.  It was cornstarch and baby oil, which made the wood floor slippery (and fun!)  The walls also had big areas of chalkboard, magnetic boards with geometric magnetic shapes, and a felt board.  The biggest draw was that you didn't have to clean up the mess.  Milo had fun, chatted with a few different kids, and got SO DIRTY, which was endearing to me in an environment that I didn't have to mop.

We rocked it during sensory week.  

**I've been using these pinterest boards (homeschool summer and talk to me, baby) to help me come up with ideas.  You can also check out our plans for the rest of the summer here

"Home School" Summer: Community Helpers Week

Community Helpers Week was a blast at our house.  We used the theme to give a little direction to our days, and having a loose plan helped me occasionally turn off the TV.  There was TONS of repeated language, which was my main goal for having themed weeks in the first place.  Here's what we did:

 On the first day, I introduced the theme with some of the nonfiction books from my first grade classroom.  These were obviously over his head, but held his interest long enough to repeat the words "fire fighter, fire truck, police officer, police car" several times.  I also have some small wooden figures dressed like professionals, so I would have Milo hold the fire fighter while we flipped through the "Fire, Fire!" book, and so on.  The books never really drew his interest again, but he consistently brought the wooden figures back out to play on his activity table.  It was a good introduction.

After the introduction, I fit in applicable activities whenever I could.  It was a holiday week, so there was no real schedule to follow.  We used a new chunky puzzle that had vehicles, focusing on the fire truck, and after a few traditional tries, Milo loved to use the pieces as toy cars, pushing them around and making engine noises.  I downloaded an app on the Kindle that had click and drag puzzles, giving us fine motor practice, and we repeated the one page that had an ambulance, police car, bus, and fire truck.

Milo is REALLY into cars right now, so the emergency vehicles really held his interest.  We have the Little People Wheelies police car and fire truck, and we used those to play make believe and to do some tire tread painting.  The tires were smooth, so I also filled it out with other cars and trucks that had a pattern to paint with.  A rice bin was really fun, even though Milo is still in a grab/drop/dump/pour stage with most sensory activities; I just threw in a bunch of the toys we had been using all week and we went to town.  Throughout the week, I browsed Netflix and ended up putting on Fireman Sam and episodes of Milo's favorites that have to do with fire trucks or police officers.  We watched Pixar's Cars five (million) times.

Two different field trips topped off our exploration.  The Fourth of July fell this week, so the parade we would have gone to anyway was a great place to see fire trucks and police cars in action.  Honestly, I'm not sure that Milo made the connection, but he enjoyed himself, and it's all exposure.  Later on, we went to the Children's Museum at Holyoke, which features a life sized ambulance and large fire truck with all the child-size uniform pieces you could imagine.  This, Milo went crazy for.  Let's just say I had to drag him away from an interactive defibrillator. Way more about the museum later, because it was awesome and we WILL be back.

If we had had more time and less heat, I probably would have packed everyone in the stroller and walked down to center of town where our police and fire stations are side by side on a relatively quiet street.  Without needing to make an appointment or get really fancy, I think just the sighting of the cars and trucks would have been exciting.  Other things I considered but didn't get to were emergency vehicles in a tray of shaving cream, more dress up opportunities, and finding videos on YouTube to watch.

Milo had fun, and I had fun, so this week was worth it.  At the flea market yesterday, he fell wildly in love with an old plastic fire engine that he has since carried everywhere and slept with.  His language is exploding, although not necessarily around the theme we're working on.  Regardless, we're looking ahead to a sensory theme for next week and calling the first week of "home school" summer a success!

*I've tried not to spend too much money finding things to fill our days.  We already had the toy cars and wooden people, and the puzzle I would have bought anyway.  We've been keeping our eyes peeled in the Target dollar bin and found some cheap plastic animals at Toys R Us, and Cutie Patuties in Leominster sells inexpensive toys both new and used.  You can find things at yard sales, flea markets, or on Amazon!

**I've been using these pinterest boards (homeschool summer and talk to me, baby) to help me come up with ideas.  You can also check out our plans for the rest of the summer here.

Five Books My Infant Loves

I've always loved books, but I before I had kids, I didn't understand why people read to infants.  I saw it like giving algebra lessons to a toddler- great in theory, but getting ahead of yourself, goofball.  Before Milo was even born, I had a large library of board books that I thought would be collecting dust for awhile, but I followed the advice of EVERY book/blog/parent and immediately gave reading a try.  Two tiny people later, I'm a convert. Reading with the smallest is great; they love to look at pictures, get excited at the sound of their parents' voices, and can be still long enough to listen to longer stories.  Reading is also a way to get in some quality time with your non-walking, non-talking, sack-of-flour baby before they're ready to really play. 

Both my kids were read to nightly from the first weeks of their lives, books are still a huge part of our daily routine.  Here are a few of our very favorites for the under-one crowd, tested out in our very own bedtime hour.  Check these out from the library to see how your kiddo reacts, or tie up a few with a sweet ribbon for an instant baby shower gift.  Happy reading!

Squishy Turtle and Friends by Roger Priddy

This cloth book is a texture-fest for babies.  The front cover has crinkly cellophane sewn in, and the sensory experience continues from there.  Pages about little sea creatures each have a few rhyming lines and an interactive illustration.  We use Squishy Turtle with a little tummy time to make for a satisfying mid-day play time.

Guess Who? by Disney Book Group

This book has rhyming text, gorgeous illustrations, and a large mirror on every page.  The reader travels to every continent, hearing clues about a signature animal, and then sees their own face on the animal's body in the flashy, exciting mirror.  This is a book that even my toddler enjoys.  Family favorite!

Who Are They? by Tana Hoben

Tana Hoben is an author I adore- I use her nonfiction in my elementary classroom, and her wordless baby books are so simple they're genius.  High contrast, black and white pictures take up the entire page and absolutely captivate infant eyes.  You can almost see their minds being blown.  This version depicts mama animals with their babies, but she has others that literally use an entire page to show one banana.  First day home from the hospital?  Whip out Hoben. 

The Big Red Barn by Margaret Wise Brown

This rambling, rolling bedtime story has a strange cadence that puts kids to sleep.  You go on a little tour of a farm, check out all the animals, make some wild sounds, and end up whispering the last few pages as the sun goes down on the whole thing.  This is slightly wordy and I definitely couldn't get through the whole thing when my son was in a more wiggly early-toddler stage, but it's perfect for the last book before bedtime when the babies are still small.

The House in the Night by Susan Marie Swanson

I saved my absolute favorite for last.  This book is flat-out dreamy, featuring black and white illustrations highlighted with yellow.  It's another with excellent cadence, rhythmically travelling from a child's bedroom to the moon and back.  My husband calls it "the Smashing Pumpkins book," and I think that sums it up perfectly.

We're always discovering new favorites, but these are in heavy rotation at our house right now.  What do you think?  What are your favorite books for the youngest family members?  I'd love to hear in the comments!