Living in a world where there are Octobers

Two Octobers ago Milo was just-born.  Last October I was quite pregnant and quite grumpy.  This year, even though the boys are small and Ben had a movie shoot and life has been jam-packed, and I really feel like we've been living it up, autumn style.  Here is some of what we've been up to.

I turned 28, which I love because I'm really feeling like my 30s will be when I hit my stride.  We had a campfire at the house and some friends came over to help us celebrate.  It was the boys first campfire and it made me want to have them all the time.  Elliott loved to stare into the flames and cried whenever the fire died down.  Milo ran around like a completely insane person; without Laurel corralling him, he probably would have ran right into the fire.

Milo turned two and we had his birthday party at Sholan Farms, a local orchard.  It was one of the most overcast weekends in the month, but we bundled up and the party was really fun.  I suggest outdoor parties for toddlers- they can run and make noise and when everyone starts melting down families can easily slip away.  Both sets of grandparents were there and everyone got a cupcake, a cup of cider, and a bag of apples to take home.  My baby is two.

The next day was the last day of the Topsfield Fair.  We never miss a year, so even though we were wiped from a full weekend, we loaded up and took in the sights.   The weather was perfect and I loved watching the boys completely zone out and take in the insanity of the crowds.  Milo liked the animals and got scared of the haunted house.  Elliott and I hung out and shared an apple.

The following weekend, the boys and I went to North Adams to visit my two best friends from high school.  Adrienne and her boyfriend live in North Adams and Jen lives in Rochester, so we met up for a day of fall fun.  I had never been down the Mohawk Trail before, and I loved the view so much.  The trees and hills were insane, but the old-school kitschy attractions were even better.  We spent time catching up and then drove out an apple farm just 20 minutes away (but actually in Vermont!) to share a picnic and get donuts and pick out pumpkins for carving.  We ended the night with dinner and a birthday cake to celebrate our fall birthdays.  I love Jen and Adrienne so much; I need to see them again soon (maybe with a little more wine and a little less kids, both on my part).

Besides all our weekend adventures, Elliott is crawling and eating real food, Milo has learned the concept of "scared" and talks about ghosts a lot, and Ben and I had a nice date last weekend.  We've been watching horror movies, Top Chef, South Park, and New Girl.  We're very busy getting our Halloween costumes ready, but until then, I will continue to drink cider, pick apples, and live the shit out of my favorite part of the year.

Milo is TWO!

My sunshine butt-boy is two.  I'm so happy and proud of the thousand things he's learned this year.  I love him as a little buddy, I love him as a big brother.  He and Elliott are my greatest accomplishments to date.

I need to say thank you to the huge network of love that keeps our family floating, wrapped together.  Milo's family is huge, with people spread over the East Coast.  Traditional family like his auntie and godmother, my sister Laurel, who we consider the fifth person in our nuclear family.  Like his Mimi and Grandpa, who send holiday care packages and have weekly FaceTime.  Like Nona and Grampy, who come in with treats and special cars and send Mama off for blessed alone time (always right when it's needed).  Cousins and aunties and uncles who send cards and special stuffies and love.

But then there's the family that I've found in Leominster.  I'm so lucky to have people who love my children like I do, who know a pediatrician or a shoe store or a preschool that would be a good fit.  People who welcome me into their homes for a play date, who come an babysit long enough for me to grocery shop alone, who are available whether I need help when I go into labor or whether I just need a break.  People who pass on entire wardrobes of clothing.  People who stop by with pizza and a case of beer because they know I may never get out for a drink again.  People who leave little toys for Milo in my mail box at school.  People who have taught me what real community is, and made me realize how special it is that I've found it.

And then there is the internet community- all you glorious people who let me ramble on about our little family and all my hopes and fears and true confessions and just listen, let me know you read it, indulging me so kindly.  The people who endure the flood of pictures that I can never stop posting.  The people who chime in when I need suggestions for medicine or transitioning to the big boy bed or anything that crosses my mind.  Thank you for making me feel like there is always someone friendly just a click away.

Lastly, thank you Milo.    You made me a mama, and it's my favorite thing that I've ever been.  Happy birthday, baby.

Tuesday Morning Real Talk

I'm stealing 15 minutes for real talk.  This shit is hard.  Super duper awfully hard.  Harder than last year.  Harder than being home.  And being home is HARD.  But...I'm having a harder time than ever.  And sometimes I feel like that's a new normal, which defeats me.

I'm stressed because teaching is so much more work than I remembered.  There is always something else to plan, ALWAYS something new to implement, and routines to master, and so many meetings.  I also forgot how great it is to bond with a class and start to love them, so that helps.  But honestly, loving them means I put more emotionally into the room.  And after exercising patience and coming up with logical consequences and being kid-friendly all day, coming home and doing the same thing for Milo drains me.  I went from loving 2 kids to 22.  That's one curve.

Then I started grad classes, and they're GRAD classes, so there is a lot of work and discussion posting.  It's a class about families and their influence on children's lives and how to involve them in the classroom community, which I find so interesting.  My first project is a brief genealogy and lifestyle analysis of the last 3 generations of my family!  I would do that for fun!  But I have NO TIME to devote to this, at all.  If it wasn't required for my license, I would definitely take the  classes a little later, when my kids needed me less.  I keep picturing myself walking in the spring, taking pictures with the boys in my robes, trying to visualize my way out of this one..  But nope.  It's at the bottom of my priority list, but undroppable.

There has been a mix up with daycare, and this is the biggest thing throwing me off.  There were some situations with paperwork and a terrible illness in the family of the lady who watches the boys, and until everything is sorted out, the boys are not going to daycare.  Instead, a neighbor related to the daycare family has been coming to watch the boys at our house.  It sucks.  Ben used to have a small window of free time in the mornings and on Mondays while the boys at school; he did chores and ran errands and got groceries.  That window is gone.  The boys aren't playing with friends, they're here all day in their same boring house, and avoiding that is one of the main things that made me feel good about being a working mom. Ben and I can't take any more time off work than we already have to make going to classes and stuff work, so we're stuck with this solution right now.  It's supposed to be temporary, but it's already been two weeks, and it's wearing on us.

The boys aren't sleeping.  Elliott is teething, or something?  Milo knows how to get out of his crib and does it CONSTANTLY.  We moved Elliott back into our room.  Again.  When Elliott freaks out, Milo stays up because he's scared about his brother crying.  Most of the time, both of them end up in our bed.  We are exhausted.

Honestly, writing our situation out helps me realize that we're doing okay.  I'm focusing on the concept of balance, long and short term.  This part of our lives will be busy and crazy.  There will be other times when we'll miss the chaos.  This month might be awful, but maybe November or March will be more settled.  I know others have it worse.  We're all fighting something.  But right now, I'm wiped.  I'm worried about how wiped Ben is.  I'm looking forward to some sort of break for our family.

Pictures are from this weekend.  We're tired but quite adorable.

Two-Under-Two Review: Sholan Farms

Last weekend we checked out Sholan Farms for the first time.  It's city-owned, volunteer-operated, and completely adorable.  I've lived in this area since 2003 but never seen this little farmland in the middle of our city.  We loved it so much that we're going back for Milo's birthday party in October.

Laurel came with us.  We picked apples, went on a hayride, bought treats at the farmstand, and played in a pretty epic sand pile in the parking area.  There were portapottys, a shaded picnic table area, and tons of helpful volunteers full of information.  

They hayride was the best part of the afternoon.  It's actually a "wagon ride," since there is no hay, and it's ACTUALLY a guided tour, giving information about farming practices, history of the space, and uses for the grounds.  They have a community garden section where you can rent a plot for only $25 and garden all season.  The other thing that got me choked up was a row of young tress along the back of the property: memorial trees.  I can't even.

The boys had an awesome time.  I even ended up feeding Elliott a bottle in the middle of the orchard and it was so peaceful that we bothered no one.  Milo went INSANE for the apples.  He's always liked them, ever since my Grandma gave him his first taste during our last visit with her.  This time, he ran like a madman, crouching under trees, sorting through all the fruit on the ground and saying "appa, appa, appa!"  He ate half of about seven apples and threw a ton of rocks.  

Weirdly, the Gala apple row we were trying to pick from seemed like it changed to different variety halfway down the row, but there were about eight trees with the most delicious apples; they were an absolutely perfect pink.  Normally I struggle to use up all the apples I pick, but our bag is already gone one week later.

It was such a good day and really right in our backyard.  I love living here.

Homeschool Summer Activities Round Up

After the first three super productive weeks of Homeschool Summer, things started unraveling a little.  There was a mini heat wave, there were pool invitations.  I started having the occasional meeting for work.  We were all a little tired.  The week's themes started to spread out, and by the end, they had dropped off completely.  Still, I managed an activity here and there that I want to jot down for memory's sake.  

We instituted a post-nap book hangout on Mama and Daddy's bed.  This was great for days when I felt like we had spent the entire time running around and I wanted something intellectual to happen.  Then I'd pop on a movie.  These are some of our favorites mid-summer.

Early this summer, we ditched our normal coffee table and plopped down a big play table I found at a yard sale.  The table top is two removable panels- one side depicts a landscape with trees and a lake, and the other was plain white, until I hit it with a few coats of chalkboard spray paint.  It's really fun to draw roads, words, or designs.  It's also provided valuable lessons about what we do and don't put chalk on.

During food and cooking week, I had Milo help me make pancakes (yum), banana bread, (YUM!), and chocolate avocado popsicles (ugh).  He loved dumping ingredients in, mixing, mashing bananas, etc.  I would also put a small amount of plain flour on the table and let him have a sensory jamboree by sending it flying everywhere. 

We used play food and a tea set to practice setting the table.  Many times I would demonstrate putting the food on the plate or pouring an imaginary drink into a cup, always saying "please" and "thank you" way too cheerfully.  At first he looked at me like I was a lunatic, but by the end of the summer, he is pouring little cups of fake cider from a tiny gallon jug and offering them to everyone politely.  It blows my mind to think of concrete things he had no grasp on that he gets now.

This trunk picnic was a necessity when we needed lunch on a road trip this summer, but I would definitely repeat it, maybe somewhere super fun.  This would be a good end cap to a trip to a different park or after a family hike.  We put down the back seat and laid out a blanket, then ate the most boring food ever, but it was special because we were in a gas station parking lot and there were guys unloading a Dunks truck while we lunched.

Next summer, when I'm planning "Homeschool Summer" or "Stay-At-Home Day Camp," I'll approach it differently.  Less themes with more time devoted to them.  I'll also try to work sensory play, cooking, and art in weekly, as opposed to a week just for those fun things.  I like the idea of still field tripping on Fridays, but maybe something special every two weeks.  I noticed this summer that some of my plans couldn't happen because I underestimated what I would be able to do with both boys- really letting Milo experience a museum or zoo without an extra pair of hands was not in the cards.

We also didn't get outside enough.  I know it's because I'm not an outside girl and I don't really want to pass that on to my babies.  It's just such an ORDEAL to cart Elliott out, find a shady, blanketed area that he can be mildly entertained, get Milo's shoes on, get everyone sunscreened, and be outside for 20 minutes before Milo is bored and we cart everything back in.  Next summer, when everyone is walking, it will either be easier or harder.

All in all, I think Homeschool Summer was a success.  Especially at the beginning, when I was following through, I loved coming up with activities, sourcing books at the library, and finding time everyday to practice language more deliberately.  Milo is talking and communicating much more than at the beginning of the summer, but I honestly think it's due mainly to him growing and the 3x a week speech therapy that he's getting.  Still, we're reading, and talking, and playing together, and that's helping, too.

First Annual Farewell Summer Picnic at Stage Fort Park

Yesterday my family said goodbye to the summer.  A picnic, some time on the beach, and ice cream from a cash only stand- that pretty much sums up everything summer should be.  We lived it large and then put it away until next year.

Ben grew up spending time at Stage Fort Park in Gloucester, and he's been dying to take the boys there all summer long.  We got organized and ended up spending a day with his parents and his brother and brother's girlfriend, who also happen to be Elliott's godparents.  We all brought something for a picnic lunch in the shady playground area, then headed down this ramp to Half Moon Beach.

This beach was out of control.  My family always went to Lake Champlain, and the rocky cliffs instantly reminded me of being little on vacation.  Milo and I made a dash for the water and spent most of the rest of the day playing, first in the tide where the waves hit the shore, then a little deeper, then working up the courage to climb around on the rocks and explore.  It was hard to slow Milo down, he kept scrambling further and further on the cliffs, calling out "CAROCKROCKROCK!" and grinning.  Ben and Milo's Grampy kept wading out to meet us and splash around.  The water was cold and the sand burnt bare feet.  It was summer.

We agreed, almost as soon as we all got there, that this would be a family tradition: a farewell summer picnic at the end of August.  We took our picture in front of the park sign and made plans to do it all again next year.  There is a thrill in driving home from the beach, kids sleeping in the back, looking at pictures from the day and snacking on leftover chips and grapes.  I kept imaging a seven- and eight-year old pair of boys scrambling over rocks in pictures on my phone.  Maybe a little girl in a sunhat looking at seashells while her big brothers bury her feet (or throw sand down her bathing suit, probably more likely).  I'm so excited to carve out some new traditions for my little family.

Already today, real life is baring down hard.  There are PILES of paperwork (speech therapy group entrance forms, return to daycare update on routines and schedules for two boys, graduate courses to register for, hearing evaluation case history, ack) and the house really shows the results of a few weeks of hard play and day trips.  I feel the promise of a return to routine balanced precisely against the pressure of a full-to-bursting schedule.  But yesterday was all about leaving my flip flops wherever I kicked them off and letting my son climb a little bit higher than I thought was safest.  Yesterday was the first annual Farewell Summer Picnic at Stagefort Park.

"Homeschool" Summer: Sensory Week

(Pool noodle bath to kick off a week of sensory experiences)

I'm really behind in reporting how our adventures with "homeschool" summer have been going.  We started off strong, with lots of activities and follow-through on the Friday Field Trips.  Different heat waves and family issues and the laziness of midsummer mean that we're waaaaay slowed down at this point, but let's go  back to happier times...

Sensory Week was definitely my favorite so far.  Basically we got to do something fun and messy every day, and Milo really loved the play time.  In looking ahead to next summer, I'm not sure that we'll do something quite so structured, but I'll definitely have some of these activities on repeat weekly.

Activities We Did:

Bug Fossils in Play dough:  I had some rubber bugs from the party section of Target and we smushed them into chunks of play dough.  It was awesome because they had the perfect amount of detail to look really cool when you peeled them away.  We used the words SQUISH and PRESS.

Ooblech Transfer: Our ooblech came out way too runny, and I would have liked to have different colors in different muffin tins, so I know what I want to try next time.  Still, Milo LOVED moving the ooblech from one tin to another, and rubbing it all over the table and himself to watch it dry.

Rice Bin Disaster: I took the rice bin back out a few times this week.  Here is the aftermath of leaving in unattended for only about 3 minutes.  Milo went insane when he could actually climb in the rice bin and play.  It was worth the mess, but it's been relegated to an outdoors toy.

Shaving Cream Exploration: This was really fun.  Even my first graders love to go crazy with shaving cream, so I knew Milo would like it, but my favorite part was using it like cement to make some awesome block towers.  Everything smelled like a barbershop but it kept Milo from thinking this was whipped cream and he didn't attempt any tastes. Next time I might add a drop of color or start the cream out inside a container and see how he spreads it out.  

Gross Motor Obstacle Course: I was so proud of myself, coming up with a cool obstacle course that got us outdoors and using the whole body.  It was toddler-simple: over the box (you get to jump on the box!), through the tunnel (you love this tunnel!), and throw the ball into the bucket a the end (you throw balls in the house all the time!).  I showed him twice, but Milo was not having it.  He wouldn't try it even once.  Don't let my genius go to waste- try it at your house today.

Elliott got into the act this week, too.  We have a few cloth books with tons of sensory input on each page- cellophane sewn into pages, ribbon and silk pulls, mirrors, buttons, and squeekers.  You can buy these at Barnes and Noble or Amazon, and more talented mamas probably make custom ones that would blow your mind.  I also made him a "play tent" when I felt guilty for needing him to chill in his pack and play one morning.  A few different dangly toys for interest, and a large muslin blanket thrown over the bar to diffuse the light.  He kicked like crazy, which is his way of saying, "I love this, you're awesome, Mama."

For our field trip, we went to the Modern Edge Art Bar in Fitchburg.  Saturday mornings they have a toddler sensory art class, so some great friends watched Elliott while Milo and I checked it out.  It cost ten dollars and there were cool sensory tables set up for free play.  A lot we had seen this week already- shaving cream, a big rice bin (their rice was multicolored, which I liked), play dough...but they also had moon sand, which I had never seen or felt.  It was cornstarch and baby oil, which made the wood floor slippery (and fun!)  The walls also had big areas of chalkboard, magnetic boards with geometric magnetic shapes, and a felt board.  The biggest draw was that you didn't have to clean up the mess.  Milo had fun, chatted with a few different kids, and got SO DIRTY, which was endearing to me in an environment that I didn't have to mop.

We rocked it during sensory week.  

**I've been using these pinterest boards (homeschool summer and talk to me, baby) to help me come up with ideas.  You can also check out our plans for the rest of the summer here