monday, april 28th, at 6:13am

Everyone is sleeping.  There are loud birds outside.  In just the space of an hour, our house will be a hive of activity.  Lunches in bags, breakfast splatters being wiped up, searching for the right underwear with that dress, the elusive matching sock.  Prep for the week has been done: chopped veggies and roasted sweet potatoes and a huge pot of brown rice.  Most of the clothes are folded.  Most of the clutter is tidied.  It will only be this quiet for a few more minutes.  It is absolutely perfect in here, just waiting.

Before I finish this post, I'll hear the soft patter of Milo vaulting over the side of his crib and padding out into the living room.  I'll hold him and show him the new shelves with all his toys.  I'll remember how much I liked picking them out yesterday, at Ikea, with his father.  We looked at other people with kids and pretended we were dating again.  Milo and I will watch Peppa Pig and negotiate about when it will be time for breakfast.  We'll hear little stretch and yawn noises from around the corner, where Elliott is sleeping with Daddy, where he has been since sometime around 4am.  Then, all at once, the house will be throbbing and loud and the day and week and month will start.

I was up early, before it was light, to sip coffee and read different articles.  I stocked up on quiet and privacy.  I cried if something was sad and clicked save on things I found special enough to share.  I strengthened my reserves to get ready for my real life, where little kids need me in the morning and at night, and slightly less little kids will be eagerly waiting for me in the classroom hours, kids who are as desperate for their routine as I am for my morning time.  We'll share news and hugs and talk about the countdown for summer, and I'll try to remember how wildly different those 8 weeks are for some of them.  Not everyone "can't wait."

I live for these moments.  The couple of seconds before the next big chunk of time.  I like the month before a new baby is born, the first week of a new year, the night before a birthday, the morning before school starts again.  The last few minutes before everyone wakes up.